Attributes of a good softball parent

Sorry, I assumed we were talking about HS age players. At that level, I think it is extremely important that the player discusses with the coach first their concerns or questions...and they need to do it at the right time (not in the middle of practice).

I'm sure there are situations that a parent may need to get involved, but if it has to do with performance issues or playing time, those need to be addressed between player and coach and the parents need to remain hands off. Any other approach will exasperate the situation with no positive conclusion.

Believe me, it is natural for a parent to want to "protect" their child from perceived harm. I know, there were many times I wanted to take my son's coach to the proverbial "woodshed"...but I couldn't...I didn't...and my son and I have a much better relationship because of it.

 

Respectfully Braves....

We agree on most of what you said...I was talking about HS age, girls! I agree that the player should go to the coach with any concern or question first, in his/her office, away from practice or games! But as I stated, if that attempt goes completely ignored, then I do believe that it is appropriate that the parent offer assistance!
I have heard a coach say, "if it is about playing time don't bother coming to me, you or your parents, period" well, if the player can't discuss what they need to do, to improve their chances at play time, then why bother?
What would be your suggestion to the player, in that situation?
I mean even a freshman in HS needs help and support, and guidence from their parents.
I will say again, I do not believe in "babing your DD", you can't be there all the time, but you can be there when they need you, for as long as you can be.
Not every child is the same, not every player is going to know what to do in every situation, some may need more support, for longer and some can completely cut mom/dad out in the 5th grade! Some players are just better at expressing themselves and such than others. Girls are different than boys, things/situations sometimes bother girls more than they would a boy, everything is more emotional and dramatic with girls, in general.
The same thing applies with going to tournaments without a parent, some can do it from age 10 and never look back, some aren't ready until they leave for college! A parent has to judge their child for themselves.
I will always protect my DD, no matter how old she gets, I will always be her mother! JMO

 

You got me there, softball4ever. There is absolutely no way I could disagree with you. I can honestly say that over my lifetime, I have never completely understood a woman and her concerns....I trust your judgement about this.

I gotta tell ya, this is one of the reasons I enjoy the softball forum. You get a different perspective and many times those differing perspectives are right

See, I'm not too old to learn.

 

First of all i appreciate your posts softball4ever and agree with a vast majority of them (even the "rowdy" ones). You say things that alot of us are afraid to say. I hope you did not take my post as an attack on you, I was only stating my position on a topic and creating more to discuss.

I agree that age has alot to do with this discussion. If a child is below High school age then the parent should be involved in the discussion but in a positive manner. Approaching the coach at the ball park with any conversation on playing time or strategy disagreements is completely inappropriate. However, talking about strategies with other parents or friends is not necessarily distructive UNLESS done in an inappropriate manner.

I also agree that i'm sure there are occasions where a high school age child would like or need a parent involved with a discussion. I did not mean that as a blanket statement only a loose guideline for how I thought a parent should handle the situation to begin with. Any coach worth his weight in salt should be approachable about playing time if for no other reason than to improve their players ability. If they are not (and this only applies to travel), then you should seek your fortunes elsewhere. There are numerous good coaches out there for every bad.

In ending, I just feel that there are entirely too many parents who either try to live vicariously through their children or protect them beyond reason. All of us have made mistakes and our children will too. We can only get them started on the right path and hope they learn from theirs as MOST of us have.

 

Thank you....

Thank you Braves for seeing that there is another side to every story! And Good Boy! LOL

 

No not at ALL...

Thank you, I enjoy your posts as well! I am not much afraid of anything! (Sometimes that is good, Sometimes that is BAD, LOL)
I in no way felt attacked by you...you stated your opinion, I stated mine, that is what this forum is all about! Getting different opinions, on the same subjects! You may even learn something like Braves did sometimes, LOL
I hope that I give a woman's (mother's) point of view sometimes to keep you guys in the mode of remembering, that girls and boys, are different breeds!
I just think sometimes parents get a bad rap for wanting to be there for their kids!
Let me be CLEAR, I do not think that you should, baby, caudle or wipe their butts til they are 20, 30, etc..... They have to make mistakes or they will not learn! They are going to fall down, they have to learn how to get back up! They will never run, if they never learn to walk! And so on... I am with you on the "live through their kids, crap, you had your chance, this is not a do over!
I think some might get the feeling that I don't know that there are GREAT coaches out there! Not TRUE at ALL! I know some FANTASTIC coaches! But, I know some, that shouldn't coach rats, at the dump too!
IMO there is not EVER a reason for a coach to be UNAPPROACHABLE!
That is just asking for trouble, before you even start!
Anyway we're good! Keep posting....... I love discussing this game.......