College-- Play or Get Down To Business !!

With all the monies involved in todays college education why do our kids think college is a place to play,and goof off ?? Are we as parents not doing our job to instruct how a few bad choices could change their entire life,or are we so busy with our fast pace day to day activities that we don't take the time to sit our teenagers down and explain how bad choices and lack of hard work can bite you,and cause you struggle later in life ??? Just recently without mentioning a certain University 9-12 players maybe facing expulsion due to under age drinking,and how many of these kids will probably lose their scholarships...what will it take to convince our kids to take college serious, and get their education keep their noses clean and graduate then they have the rest of their life to make choices.Not putting it on the high schools,but they are part of our kids lives, maybe they need stronger programs that teach kids the dangers of substance abuse, and how it can effect their future as a college student. Maybe there should be programs to explain how long it takes to pay back a college loan. Kids think mama and daddy just have endless amounts of money...I WISH !!! The average 4 year lets say 9-10,000 dollars a year school wil take at least 15-20 years to pay back if you can only afford the minimum payment !! Kids just don't see mama and daddy are struggling now so that they want have to struggle later !!! It's very disappointing when a kid gets a 1/2 to full scholarship and loses it because of the immaturity of not accepting their responsibilty. My niece lost a full ride because play / partying was more important to her than her education...she told me at Christmas this past year that she made very bad decisions and now wishes that she had chosen the other road to STUDY !!!

--------------- GURU

 

I'm no preacher, but.....

The bible sez
"The way is very narrow to the kingdom and few are those who will find it.
But, the way to destruction is broad and many will go that way."​

College athletics is littered with the broken dreams of athletes who fail to understand why they are attending college.​

Everyone worked so hard for that alusive
" Athletic Scholarship "​

Focus should be on the green above...
That keeps the dollars.​

I like the word​

SCHOLAR athlete...​

Puts the emphasis where it should be.​

The role of athletics in higher education should be to provide a comprehensive support system that will promote academic success, a positive athletic experience, and overall personal growth for the student athlete.​

Academic success defines the experience. Without it, there is
NO ATHLETIC EXPERIENCE. ​

GURU hits a HR on this thread.........My suggestion is to listen​

 

It starts at home!!!

That is a very good question that you pose Guru. You asked about high school programs teaching the kids right from wrong or the value system of our society today....all of those things have to start at home. We, as a society seem to have all gotten the idea that we need to "give" our kids more than we had growing up. I'll be the first to admit that I want to give mine more opportunities than I had, but I think that it is time for us to stop asking everyone to raise and teach our kids right from wrong when the responsibility falls on us as parents.

We have all gotten so caught up in work and money that we immediately take our kids to a day care when they are 6 weeks old and leave them there until they are old enough to go to school. We take them there at 7:00 in the morning and pick them up at 6:00 at night and then complain when they aren't in bed by 8:30...how many hours in a day does that leave us to teach them anything?? It doesn't get much better as they get older either...by the time they are teens, they don't want to talk to us, or think ( just as we did )that mom and dad are antiques and don't know what they are talking about.
My point is that we have a huge responsibility when God blesses us with children...all of that training needs to start at home and be reinforced with sound teaching at school and church. Children tend to be mirror images of what they see at home...we need to start at birth teaching them how to behave.

I know that you didn't mean that all the teaching should be done at school or not by parents, and I do agree that we as coaches, parents and friends all should have a burden to help the kids we come in contact with. I have a couple of kids that I have coached over the years that socially drink...with their parents... and they aren't 16 yet...what message is that sending and how do I counteract that??

I agree with you that kids are spoiled now a days, whether we spoil them because we want more for them or because we feel guilty for not spending enough time with them, it seems to be a way of life. I would say that we all need to refocus our efforts to be great examples and help the future generations understand the concept of respect for themselves and others.

 

You Go Guru

great thread some nice thoughts from Guru and windmill! Right ON! I suggest the issue goes a little deeper as even in my days, horse and wagon, no running water, etc. etc., we partied a little in school! That said, we knew our parents would not bail us out or fix things if we screwed up! We were held accountable! We were "punished" or suffered "consequences"!
What a concept! The problem runs deep, first family and family values, then society not accepting discipline for kids from family, school, coaches, church, colleges, professors, and own and own.
Those college scholarships are basically employment contracts! You play ball, work hard, provide value for the investment, and the college will continue to pay all or a portion of your way through school. Now, a part of those conditions is to keep your grades at a level where you meet NCAA rules! All parts of the contract must be met to continue to be paid and to stay in school! This is a great deal like life and working for an employer! The difference is you are playing a game U love, you are given an education at a discounted rate, something no one can ever take away once you have that sheepskin, and you enjoy some of the best life experiences you will ever know.
Education is one of the most important ingredients in our goals for success! Enjoy the college life, relax some, have fun, but stay focused on the wonderful opportunity you have been provided! Pray every day and thank God for such wonderful parents, teachers, professors, and coaches that have helped you get the opportunity for success! U have to make the committment, they can't give it to U!
Softball is here! The Abbey plays Thursday!

 

JUST MAYBE !!!

I think before a kid enters into a contract with a university behavior parameters ought to be specified,and put in writing a guideline of ethics that must be followed to attend any facility that promotes higher education, especially where there is free money offered !! If you break these rules the contract becomes void,and you are on your own !!! This in turn would create in some,not all, more of a responsibility in the individual of her future toward higher education !!! Let's promote a generation that will lead our country to continue to benefit everybody....just remember what we put out in the world will someday change your diaper..


--------------------------------------

 

Most good programs have these in effect.....
There are also "contracts" that specify what the
academic community will provide, what the coach will provide and
what the athlete must provide...

Our team rules specify behavior and academic requirements...
An example is class attedance. I have a ZERO cut policy, as it relates to
unexcused absenses from class. We miss enough class due to travel, so attendance is paramount to success. Penalties range from running, to game suspensions, to dismissal from the team.

Other distractions occur on Facebook and other web based social outlets.... You would be amazed what is put on these sites...

Rule of thumb, if you have to think more than a second whether something is appropriate or not, it is probably not..... Also, most of the times people get busted for stuff on the web, is because somebody turns them in..... anonymously....

 

well P. E. doesnt use athletics as a PRIVELEGE as it should be. It is treated as yet another MEANS of keeping bad apples in school. WHY? ... because , as I have said countless times, P.E. is judged on how many walk out that door their senior year with a diploma in their hand.. whether than have any life skills to go along with it matters not!

The best thing we all could do is demand that the disruptors be put in an alternative learning environment. If we have to be taxed for it then so be it.

There was a rumor going around 3/4 years ago that one of the girls on the softball team was going to "make up" a story about the then head coach "pinching her" or something to that effect so he would be fired. Was anyting done about it?.. NO. In fact, after I joined the staff this same girl.. who had quit the team mid season the year before was going to come out again for the team as a senior. Guess what the AD said to the coaching staff: "well this may be one of the things (softball) that keeps her in school". This kid should have been told that she was banned PERMANENTLY from all athletic participation!

Let me give you just as bad a horror story from the other end of the spectrum. We have a kid who plays FP who is about a 3.9 student (while holding down a job). She doesnt have parents at home who are sophisticated enough concerning the college application process to really provide any sort of direction. Well guess what.. its Feb 1 and she hasnt applied to ANY colleges! Now what should be the priority.. P.E. letting this girl down and the guidance office not watching dealines for her or making sure Bad Betty doesnt drop out?

Its time we realized that we can't get the rot out of some of these apples!

 

Agreed !!!

I don't care if it's my DD, set the rules,and if you don't want to follow move over and let someone that does fall in line !!! I'm with T.H. on this one, it's time to get serious about your future. Like I've already stated in other threads if you don't want it there are hundreds that do !!

Guru

 

Wow this is a big one.....

Guru you made some excellent points in your post! WndMillR, Abbey, CougarCoach and bothsportsdad all also had excellent points!
I can only give my opinions on these issues!
The one thing I always told my DD was that God gave me 1 REALLY IMPORTANT job and that was being her parent and I do not intend to fail at that job!
People as a whole have made the choice that 2 incomes are more important than raising their kids! Then they think that they have to say YES all the time, thinking that will make up for the time they aren't there! Not true! All that accomplishes is the kid learns that they have to seek guidence and answers from other sources, other than their parents! It really is ok to say NO to your kids! Believe it or not, kids need to hear No sometimes! Certain things in life should not have options they should just be expected or demanded! Like academics! Like behavior and character!
Guru I think the schools do teach about substance abuse, just some people do not heed the advice! Kinda like you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink! Not to mention, there is always that old saying "Do as I say not as I do"! Whatever, kids learn by example!
When kids are allowed to act inappropriatly and get away with it, and treat others badly and get away with it, and talk to adults with disrespect and get away with it, then that is how they will act, you have molded their character by allowing these behaviors! Allowing a kid to jump from team, to team, to team, teaches them that when you don't get exactly what you want, when you want it, take your ball and go home! Chances are that kid will grow up to be an adult that changes jobs a lot!
A lot of adults in authoritive positions over kids add to the problem! For example: A coach finds out that a particular group of players have been involved in inappropriate behaviors, such as drinking underage, the coach keeps this information under wraps because his best players are involved! This would effect whether he wins or loses! Or a different cenerio, the coach hears some players on the team picking on or making fun of another player, the ones doing the picking are the better (in his mind) or (worth the most finacially to the team) so the coach turns a deaf ear to the behavior!
Just saying no one wants to stand up and admit that they are part of the problem and are not willing to be part of the solution!

 

The Golden Umbrella......

....that we as parents provide to our kids is no different than what we were given when we were kids. It has mostly nothing to do with $, although that subject is debatable. The bottom line is none of us, or our kids wake up and smell the coffee of whats really important in your life until you lose it or have to pay for it! Bam! Dr. Fishman will send a bill of $0 to TBR users for this VERY WELL understood notion by ALL of us. Look, I have talks with my DD like ya'll do. And i hope they hit home to her and make her path to adulthood less rocky. But I know that mine will make mistakes, as i did, and i just hope and pray that they are not of life changing proportion! .....Now that being said......I'll take the car away if she K's more than 3 times in a season. Tennis shoes are bought alot in my house! lol. Trust that you as a parent have done your best to rear your kid and from there, its up to them and your pocketbook.