A DI Coach's Suggestion for Parents

Not long ago, I was catching up with a good friend who is the head coach of a major college baseball program. During our conversation, he was venting some over what he and his peers view as an ongoing headache for them. It came as a bit of a surprise that it wasn't the new scholarship regulations or a topic of that sort.

The subject? Prideful, overzealous parents.

In his case, it was about the parents of recruits, rather than his own players. The reason it applied more to recruits for him is that, like a lot of his peers, he systematically avoids players whose parents insist upon constantly touting their sons. He hates the fact that it ends up hurting the player; but, he knows from experience that, once the player arrives, the overzealous parent will be a thorn in the coaches' sides until the day he leaves. Pragmatically, a head coach has enough concerns...and a sufficiently large pool of players whose parents don't go overboard in "managing" their son's career...that he's not going to knowingly add to that list of concerns.

Of course, we've all witnessed it: the parents who can't wait to tell you about their son's glowing statistics or latest heroic accomplishment. Why, I've actually known a dad who handed out business cards with his high school son's contact information to scouts and recruiters sitting in showcase stands. What he always failed to see was them roll their eyes after he'd walk away.

We see it on this message board from time to time. The parent who comes on and feels compelled to share the latest on Johnnie's accomplishments. The parent, undoubtedly, views it as positive communication. The fact is that it's a "yellow flag" to the many scouts and recruiters who follow postings here quietly...and many do.

So, a word to the wise: Let your son's on-field accomplishments speak for themselves. You're their parent; not their agent. Ultimately, it will be what the scouts and recruiters see...and hear from objective, credible baseball sources...that influences their decisions; and, your well-intentioned efforts run great risk of upsetting the situation for your son.

 

Prepster- this is an excellent post, and a timely one. However, I would like to point out a few things:

- Didn't I just read a topic that a recruiter suggested that parents are "agents"? (Sorry CBScout, I had to get that one in)
- Some coaches may think that the HS parent is getting out of control, but obviously, they haven't gone to a LL game in awhile. Shoot, they are already discussing recruiting down there
- My cards to college scouts were always professionally done. Why it had my whole family's picture on it to let them know they were getting the whole package.

Prep, I am not taking your post irreverantly. It is a very powerful message and one I hope others take heed. I just feel like Ronald Reagan after reading things like this.

 

With respect to the "agency" aspect of a parent's role:

I think parents play a critically important role in serving as resources to their sons. As in school, they should help along the way with the "homework;" educating their sons on which showcases, teams, programs to consider. Similarly, I think the parent can play an important role by educating them in the "nuts and bolts" of the recruiting process. However, I'm also a firm believer in the player being the one who is the principal communicator with coaches on an onging basis.

In fact, I think it's along the communication dimension that I'd draw the line in terms of parental involvement. Communications with "baseball people" can become very problematic for parents and ought to be avoided. We parents are universally viewed as unobjective observers who lack credibility; and speaking on behalf of our sons is considered the number 1 indicator of difficulties down the road.

So, "resource," yes; "agent," no...if "agent" extends to spokesperson duties.

 

Thanks Prep for another outstanding advice from one who knows

 

Great advice Prepster. As a parent, it is hard to toe the line sometimes. We should guide/advise and not lead in their recruitment. Thanks for the reminder.

 

Two years ago I stood behind some bleachers at a fall showcase. A well known D1 coach from a school in NC walked up, spoke, and began watching the game. In a few minutes, the mother of one of the kids playing for one of the teams came around passing out very nice color brochures of the team, which included lots of info & stats on the team members. The coach soon discarded the brochure. I asked why he threw it away. His response was that he couldn't judge a player on his stats. He had to watch him in the field. Lots of things to consider besides stats.

 

prepster thank for some excellent advice. As a coach and a father of 3 sons. Each of whom had the opportunity to play in college. I've been on both sides of the fence. It's difficult to admit but the truth is as parents we are all at least somewhat, "love blind". I swore I wouldn't be, but the truth is at times my evaluation of my sons was somewhat inflated. I think once we as parent realize this we're on the right track.
However, parents need to realize that it's all to easy to go overboard. It's important for parents to be involved in the recruiting process and ask approptiate questions. However, if a coach is interested in a kid, his parents don't need to sell him.

 

Parents: More harm than good?

Let me give you this scenario. I had a kid to was very highly recruited by many D1 schools as well as a few MLB scouts. 6-6 pitcher with FB around 90-91 and a lot of upside.
Junior year had scouts coming to see him virtually every game and played in SW4A so every game was big. Clemson ass't comes to scout him end of junior year and the beginning of senior year and while he didn't throw great for the most part it he threw good enough games.....needless to say his dad was in this coach's ear both times. By year's end he had signed a scholarship to go to Florida and was offered a very big scholarship considering he was out of state and well....it's Florida.
So guess what happens in the offseason.....COACHING CHANGE AT FLORIDA! Who gets the job?? The assistant from Clemson who takes one look at his incoming scholarship class and says....Thanks but no thanks, you can come and walk on if you would like!!
Player goes from MLB scouts at games, to a scholarship @ Florida, to having to sign on late at College of Charleston. All because his dad couldn't get out of the ear of a scout. I hate it for the kid but parent's have to know when enough is enough!

 

I heartily concur with this part of the post. I also agree with the poster who mentioned the coach who threw away the stat sheet. As I have said before - (and am saying once again) - I believe none of what I hear and little of what I read - I base my decisions on what I can prove. When it comes to baseball players, I trust my own eyes and instincts. I dare say that most -if not all - college coaches fall into the same category.

 

I have read a lot of these posts and been to many high school baseball games and I have come to the conclusion that there are far to many parents who are complete obsessive idiots. They are talking up their sons like they are a commodity for the highest bidder. They are making choices like what showcase do we have to attend, what high school do I need to transfer him to, in order to get noticed, how much do I pay for one on one coaching, and on and on it goes and I wonder have they asked their son if they are driving him nuts with this obsession. I do not know if you have noticed, but high school baseball is getting less and less player turnout, and minorities are almost to the point of vanishing. I told my son if (who is quite good), go out and have fun in high school, quit worrying if you screw up where some college scout might cross you off his list. If he gets a scholarship fine, if not then he will graduate just like I did and thousands others have done, having to repay a student loan. I once had a player come to me and say, "you know I hate to lose, but I hate it worse when my parents make me feel like I want to put a gun in my mouth". Some of you are living your life at the cost your son, time to step back a take a look! Most of these kids are playing February to November, they have no life.