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Paper Athletics - my opinion on Daddy Ball

Discussion in 'Softball Forum' started by cheeze105, Apr 17, 2008.

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  1. Apr 17, 2008 at 2:18 PM #1
    cheeze105

    cheeze105 Moderator Staff Member

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    Advice for future Coaches: Avoid Nepotism at all costs.

    Nepotism is commonly called “Daddy Ball” in our circles today. As the number of AAU/travel ball teams increases, so does this common mistake.

    I started writing this article last year, but some recent incidents told to me by other members has helped me make the decision to finish this up.

    I’ve looked back at my coaching career which includes rec. ball, travel ball and high school softball and wondered if I’ve ever been guilty of this. I was always harder on my daughter than the others, not because of her talent level mind you, because I didn’t want the others to think that I was playing favorites on the field toward her. I wanted her to earn her position and she did through her efforts, not mine. After two years of travel ball, I decided to take the back seat and let others decide who played and it worked out well. So, even though I tried to not be guilty of this, I’m sure that I’m guilty of it in some small way that I’m not thinking of.

    The point is that Daddy ball serves only one person, the dad. I have never witnessed it benefiting the child in any good way in the past, instead, I have seen disaster after disaster because of it.

    Daddy ball isn’t confined to AAU/travel ball, its rampant in high school ball also. Last year I watched a local high school tournament over the break and witnessed the coaches son making an estimated 12 errors in four games, hitting nothing with a poor swing, giving up a grand slam in one game and basically getting picked apart on the mound with the better pitchers sitting on the bench. Yeap, you guessed it, was awarded the tournament player for this team. The problems began after the tournament. His teammates were abusive from the end of the tournament and I understand its carried over into this year. He no longer has any friends nor the respect of any athletic at the school. What his father didn’t realize is that he instantly created a reputation for his son that his son will never live down. He created an athletic on paper that couldn’t be matched with the skills on the field. Were or what will this get his son? That answer depends upon the character of his son. If the boy is arrogant and believes he deserves that award, then someday , later in life, that bubble is going to break along with his vision of what his life has been to that point. If he knows that he didn’t deserve that award, and feels guilt, then his high school experience will be nothing but dread .The knowledge that he cant live up to his fathers vision of himself will haunt him along with the hatred that his fellow teammates now have for him. In other words, the father has set his son up for future or current disaster in his life. Was the award worth it? Not in my book. There were several other players deserving of this award, and had it gone to any of them, his sons life would have been much easier and probably a lot happier.

    This happens in travel ball quite a bit, but you can see it in the performance on the field, and if you’re on one of these teams, you often leave it soon after to search of a non-daddy ball team. The coach will get the message real soon when he finds that he can’t acquire good talent due to the reputation. But high school is totally different. You’re saddled there for four years unless of course, you transfer. What recourse do you have in high school if you play on one of these teams? Depends. If the baseball coach is not the AD, contact the AD and air it out. Above the AD is the principle. But often nothing is done, and you have to personally decide what is best for your child.

    In closing, Daddy ball spells disaster for your child. Remember, this is their youth, not yours, and they need to find themselves on the field, hone their skills through hard work, practice, dedication and training. Don’t make your kid’s life hard by being a “paper athletic“, its just not worth the trophy or the plaque.

    Please, no names or schools or teams mentioned, as this is rampant everywhere. lets just have a civil discussion about this and suggest remedies and fixes that really work.
     
  2. Apr 17, 2008 at 2:29 PM #2
    Softball Guru

    Softball Guru Banned From TBR

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    UH_OH---- FLASH !!!!

    This is a trap !!! " I WILL NOT POST " , " I WILL NOT POST "...." I WILL NOT POST !!! "


    [​IMG] GURU
     
  3. Apr 17, 2008 at 2:33 PM #3
    cheeze105

    cheeze105 Moderator Staff Member

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    chicken.................
     
  4. Apr 17, 2008 at 2:51 PM #4
    Softball Guru

    Softball Guru Banned From TBR

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    Too Much !!

    " I'M AN OVERCOMER "," I'M AN OVERCOMER ", I want be drawn into this, I feel banning time coming !!! Remember last year, well not this year !!!


    Guru
     
  5. Apr 17, 2008 at 3:13 PM #5
    Double Dog Dare

    Double Dog Dare Full Access Member

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    Daddy-Ball Fixes Itself.....always.

    In the end, it ALL works itself out. You can fake stats, lie about hits vs. RoE's, pat yourself on the back to anyone that will listen as well as to the print media. But, before it is over, justice is done.....always.

    Cheeze, you allude to it in your write-up.....the kids police themselves and provide justice to the repeat offenders. It's a kids' game and the kids provide the judge and the jury for the benefactors of "daddy ball." Teammates may forgive one instance or possibly two, but if it continues, there becomes a split on the team: the coach's kid....and everyone else.

    The game is for the kids....not the parents. For the parents, their ball-playing career is over. Most need a hobby, besides living LOUDLY through their kids. Leave the bragging for your kid to people that are unrelated to your family and unaffiliated with your team. Again, and I've said it often, if your kid is good.....you don't have to tell anyone....because they already know!

    Now...PLAY BALL!!!
     
  6. Apr 17, 2008 at 3:35 PM #6
    Scamp

    Scamp Full Access Member

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    My DD is 13, I am having a ball actually getting to watch her play for the first time. I have been her coach since T-ball and never been able to watch her play before. It is hard to take that first step to go sit down on the other side of the fence. I did it because it was the best thing for my daughter and she is now flourishing because of it.

    I would not trade the last 8 years of coaching her for anything, but I have now handed her off to others who know just as much, if not more, about the game than I do. I am still her coach in the back yard for about 45 minutes a day and that is enough for me.

    I can not see how daddy ball can be eliminated in any youth sport though. I would estimate 95% (if not more) of the coaches are parents. I was VP of a rec ball program that fielded about 40 teams total from t-ball to 15 year olds, baseball and softball. I can only think of two people who ever volunteered their time to head coach that were not parents. So, in order to field teams there had to be daddy ball. The only solution at this level is to make sure the coaches are properly trained in the fundamentals.
     
  7. Apr 17, 2008 at 6:58 PM #7
    cheeze105

    cheeze105 Moderator Staff Member

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    DDD and scamp, you both speak the truth on this issue. i will always be my daughters coach, and at 20yrs old right now, i am coaching her on coaching others. scamp, i wouldnt trade the lottery for the past 11 years of experiences with my daughter, i know i'm not alone on this thought, we both share it. and DDD, it does police itself, but my point is that its so unnecessary and harmful to any young player in so many ways.
     
  8. Apr 17, 2008 at 8:29 PM #8
    JavelinCatcher

    JavelinCatcher Full Access Member

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    It effects everyone!

    I completely agree with everything that has been said, however, this can and does hurt the other girls/teammates. I have a DD who stopped playing TB because she had three coaches in a row playing daddy/mommy or daddy's friend ball. We kept thinking it would be different on another team but it never was.

    As sad as it is, I think that a lot of the coaches got into coaching or started a team because they thought their DD was better than she is and wasn't getting a fair shake on another team that had a real coach who played the best 9 period.

    I also agree with scamp. There comes a time when every coach has to give up their DD to another coach. It is actually good for the girls and the parents. From a conversation I had with marlin, he said college coaches actually want to see your DD be coached by other coaches to see if they really are coachable. Sounds like they might want to make sure there was no daddy ball going on that was inflating their playing time and/or stats.

    DDD said it perfectly. If your kid is good, you don't have to tell anyone, they will already know.

    Just to be safe though, when I was helping coach teams my DD was trying out for (be in volleyball, basketball, or softball) I would not attend tryouts and would not start helping until after the team was chosen.
     
  9. Apr 18, 2008 at 5:29 AM #9
    jfagala

    jfagala Full Access Member

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    Oh my...

    Going to make it brief...

    1. It is rampant, even during school ball...middle and high

    2. When you are so focused on your kid being #1, they lose sight and CANNOT function and take failures in life because you are always paving the way for them

    3. You turn off other kids, even though they may be just as or more talented, because you don't know how to spell F_A_I_R, much less be fair

    4. Your kid will appreciate you moving away from them on the field so they can grow.

    5. It is true, I am still involved with mine at the LB's, but ask anyone that has ever seen one of our games or practices, there is not only no favoritism, it goes the OTHER way where we expect more out of our own and expect them to lead by example...

    6. Stats tend to be a joke in "daddy ball". You are just lying to yourself and your kid, sorry...If they hit .300 and you have them down for .450, what incentive do they have to actually improve themselves and actually get better??
     
  10. Apr 18, 2008 at 8:40 AM #10
    Bone15

    Bone15 Member

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    daddy ball

    Maybe this thread will open some eyes & these coaches will focus on the TEAM instead of their DDs before they ruin a great thing.:N1yeeaah::N1yeeaah::N1yeeaah:
     
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