Awards ( All-Conference, All-State, etc...)

Guru, I just happened to be there talking with Nut when I saw the play you're referring to about DD. That ball was hard to judge with the wind blowing as hard as it was Sat. Give the kid a break. Have saw several miss judged balls in WCWS. I'm sure she felt bad enough, but it was a difficult play to make. They will all make a mistake every now and then, cause their human.

 

Comment

After the Blues Showcase, I was able to speak with all coaches. Funny they never mentioned a ball a kid missed, a swing and a miss, or even speed on bases.

Everyone said we liked these kids because:

They were chattering all the time on the field
They hustled every where they went
They supported the other girls as they went through the drills
They smiled and were confident as they told us their name and class
We would take these kids right now!

The kids they mentioned were not the most gifted kids there in size, skills, talent, they were the best team mates and the one willing to do what it takes to win. Coaches were looking for "heart", something you can not force or teach.

Mistakes will occur, bad days will happen, disappointment will be a part of your career! Love for the game and willingness to give it your all, can not be faked. Parents and players don't worry about the little things, enjoy the game, work hard, keep academics first, and success will come! Giving it the best you have that day, is all that can be asked! Best that day may not be the best you could ever give but so many things can influence a players ability to play on any given day. Lighten up and enjoy the ride, it will be gone before you know it. Don't take the fun and love of the game from your DD, it is why they are still playing. LOL

 

I couldn't say it any better!!!!

 

Your post needs to be printed out by some coaches and put in the front of their notebooks.

Consider for a moment if your DD decided never to play another day of ball. What would she be to you then? Don't treat them in ways that make them wonder about that same question!

 

Thanks for the eye opener!!!!!
I think all of us know if our dd's are hard workers and if they are giveing their all. I'm as guilty as anybody about seeing more of the bad plays than praising the good ones. we all need to stop and remember that everybody is going to make mistakes includeing us.I've always been a pusher because that's the way I was coached and I don't see anything wrong with that ,I just think we need to be less critical of every move she makes on the field.
Remember--one day all of it will come to an end and I think all of us wants our dd's to look back and remember how much fun they had.

 

I try to remember to compliment the good plays or at bats, they know when they make a mistake. If she wants to talk about it , that's fine. If not, I try to keep it to myself. Seems to be working pretty good.

 

Hmmm . . . not clear about this response

I certainly didn't mean to imply that kids shouldn't have fun or enjoy the game. In fact, being in love with game is the ONLY way a girl will ever become a solid D1 player. The demands are just too great for those who don't love it. Having fun and loving the game is not enough, though. At some point effort (practice) must create improved performance to be rewarded, at least in a tangible manner. Same is true in the classroom. A kid can "try" as much as she wants but if she can only score 800 on the SAT she will not be able to attend UNC or State. That doesn't mean they're any less loved!

 

Guilty!

I was very guilty of only seeing my DDs errors and/or bad games and had a very bad habit of talking about those far more than their good plays. We actually instituted a rule that we were not allowed to discuss softball in our house. The good news is that I realized that a while back (after we had to make the rule - DUH!) and have been trying VERY hard to change. I bite my tongue now when they make an error and make sure I highlight their good plays. Like Mic, if they want to talk to me about their errors, they can but I don't push it.

It really hit home when my oldest DD was coming up on the end of her HS career and at the time wasn't thinking about playing college ball. It went by soooo fast and all I thought about looking back was I that I hoped she had fun and met some life long friends along the way. More good news is that she is now going to play in college thanks to what I consider a very good friend and a couple of GREAT coaches!

 

Compliments/Criticism Ratio

I read somewhere that if criticism is to be received in a constructive manner it must provided in a ratio of no more that one critical comment for every six positive ones. You're right, kids know when they performed poorly. They need to trust you to help them figure out why.

 

Sorry guru, the part I was puzzled by (", it is not acceptable to the coaches or her dad that she is doing her best.") seemed to imply that her best wasn't good enough. I know all to well the impact of even slightly dimished attitude and effort.

Sorry to offend.....

ERMS