Yelling

Your wife said it, not me!!

You must have respect for her judgement, you did say she's your wife!!! LOL
Men do learn in their own special way, agreed!!!

 

Some days I wish my daughter would get yelled at by the coaches.

 

Me too

Some days I wish some one yell at my wife! (not me)

 

thats what I'm saying...

I coach first base and some of the crap I hear in the dugout behind me from the opposition makes me want to slug someone. I heard a coach recently tell his 8-9 yr olds when they got to the dugout "thats the worst softball I've seen in my life." Real nice bro.

 

IMHO, There is a difference between yelling to and yelling at. 99% of the time the girls know when they have made a mistake, you don't need to yell at them about it, they know. Pick them up, not beat them down. However, IMHO, you might need to yell to communicate where the play is or what the situation is. To me, this is coaching, you are coaching the girls on what to do.

 

I'm not sure what's worse...being yelled at or watching my coach stomp his feet, throw his hat or roll his eyes at something I did. I think I'd rather have a tongue lashing, but not at a point of trying to destroy my confidence.

I heard this statement by a respected coach and it rings true. Confidence is always battling fear, why give fear ammunition?

 

I have enjoyed this site for many year, the many observations from parents, players, and coaches. I have enjoyed being informed about tournaments, school ball, and players to keep an eye on. This is probably the first time I have wanted to respond. I have observed coaches screaming at umpires, players, and parents. (This weekend in particular) I witnessed a coach yelling at his team, his daughter in particular “throw strikes” (if that was easy we all would do it). The young lady (14u) shoulders dropped and the look of humiliation was almost unbearable. I have never in my life benefited from being yelled at nor have I ever used it as a tool to teach. Yelling at someone is a form of disrespect and should only be used when trying to make someone hear you at long distance. At the end of the day I believe we are trying to teach our daughters love and respect for the game and themselves. Food for thought? Isn’t softball a game and a form of entertainment

 

Just a thought...

I agree with your post with a tiny exception!
You do not need to yell at a person to get them to learn! A lot of adults that do this (yell) are just venting their anger/frustration, at a particular situation, not at the player!! It is kinda like having a really big, scary looking dog, he looks and sounds really scary, but he is really a big powder-puff, full of licks! I feel that it is way more important to listen to WHAT a coach says, than how they say it, sometimes (there are exceptions)! If a coach is saying inappropriate things, then that is where you draw the line, in concrete, not sand! If a coach is saying demeaning, degrading things, humilitating things, embrassing things, then that is a PROBLEM! Telling a bunch of 8 yr olds "that is the worst ball that I have ever seen", not good, at all! For starters it automatically questions his/her experience, because I have seen some fantastic and amazing teams have bad games or days! That is when as a parent I ask, why would you as a parent, allow your 8 year old to be treated that way? Maybe if this is the case, you should be concerned with your parenting skills, instead of the coaching style!
Yes softball is supposed to be FUN and entertainment to a point!
The game should always be fun or you shouldn't be playing it! JMO
But when you get to 16U & 18U Showcase tournament play, it isn't for fun or entertainment, this level of competetion is for a purpose, to showcase your talents to college coaches, to hopefully earn you some help on your future, with a scholarship to further your education! If you just want to have fun then play local tournaments for fun, entertainment, team experiences, socialization, etc...
Play SHOWCASE tournament ball, when you have a purpose/goal in mind! When you make that choice, accept that you are there to be serious, improve, do your best everytime you step on the field, showcase your best talents everytime, learn from every mistake! Showcase tournaments are not for the win, or a TROPHY!
Rec ball, regular local tournaments are for the fun, entertainment, the win, the trophy!
JMO

 

girls vs boys

Someone once said "Girls have to feel good to play good while boys have to play good to feel good". Yelling at girls will not make them play harder or better, it may tick them off to where you think they get it but what they probally get is that the person yelling is a jerk. Now a boy on the other hand,a harsh voice may get more toughness and determination out of them. Probally still will think you are a jerk but will respect you.

 

JMHO

We got much better results from our team when we toned it down and tried (man it is hard sometimes!) to stay positive. We noticed right away that many girls would see us get upset and that had an effect on them whether we yelled or not so we had to change. We now do not yell unless we were trying to get the girl in left to move and were in the 1st base dugout or one of the girls is thinking about something (BOYS!) other than the game and we can't get their attention.

For fielding errors, we meet them when they are coming in, look at them and say 'do I need to say anything?' to which they always respond 'noooooooo'. We then tell them mistakes/errors happen, let's learn from it, not do it again, and take their anger out on the ball. The most important things are to not make the same error over and to limit your errors to 1 at a time.

For batting, we still try to have fun with them. We tell them the worst thing they can do is strike out looking. As long as they are swinging the bat (preffereablly at strikes), we will mess with them and ask them if we need to clean the mask on their helmet or get them glasses. If they strike out looking too many times, we take them out of the game.