What would you do?

Great post Guru as always! To add to this I will speak for myself.... I have cost my DD a chance at playing for a really good team because of my decision to force her to leave. It was my foolish pride that got in the way, not hers. So forgiveness from a coach to a player is great. As adults if we admit we were wrong, then we deal with it. Parents are not perfect, neither are any coach. All we can do is try to get along. Life is not fair, there may not be any second chances, but Guru is right people make mistakes.

 

As a coach of a pretty good (not great) high school program I have watched this conversation bubble into something that seems to be proud coaches vs. proud parents. I coached college softball and football for 6 years before deciding to take it back to the high school level. I won 5 conference championships at the college softball program where I coached. When I took over at my high school I was amazed at how bad the program was. We had 3 girls on the team who played travel ball and the rest pretty much learned how to play upon entering their first year of high school. Well I will be the first to admit that travel ball is good for developing players. Also I have never forbid any of my players from playing travel ball. I do however communicate with their coaches. I have a player who is a pitcher who plays and I ask her coach that she play her other positions if it will help the team but to try to keep her under 7 innings a weekend. We usually work pretty good on that one. What I have noticed is a dropoff in schoolwork when travel ball starts. Practicing and playing 5 times a week then playing another 5 - 7 times on the weekend can be very straining on a student athlete. I'll admit that I am pretty anal about their grades, but I would like to see them all have the choice to go on to post secondary education even if it isn't softball related. Anyways, because we have gotten better, most of the girls who play travel ball have decided to cut back on playing because our seniors who were around when things weren't so good ( 4 - 20), have stepped in and said that they were going to make that sacrifice of putting it off til the end so they can put more effort in our season. You have to realize that it is a two way street. To me as a coach, the hardest day is cut day. I personally invite every single girl into the dougout and tell them whether or not they made the team, and if they didn't what they need to work on to be able to make it next year. To have a girl who made the team quit on the team to do something else is a slap in the face to first of all her teammates, the girls who would have died to wear that uniform and didn't get the chance, her school, and in most cases her community. However, if she is that unhappy, she should find somewhere else to play.

 

Another High School coach who thinks he is God. Many High School coaches do not want TB going on because they want everyone to think they are responsible for girls that know how to play. HS coaches should be thankful for what is handed to them.

 

You guys really take this stuff personal. Nothing better than a guilt trip. If it makes you happy, she decided to honor her commitment and do something else next year.

 

Now Finally A Post That Is Fair !!

Great post coach, you have w/o pride explained yourself clearly, and your paragraph flows nicely from the compassionate man that you must be to the reason you are committed to a team. Understand what I said earlier we don't always make the right decision , but if a coach comes off like General Patton or Napoleon then he needs to find another profession also !! It's about the kids and their futures not the trophies,state titles, etc...if a coach shines more than his players there is something wrong !! Does the shoe fit coaches ?? I get tired of hearing how great Coach so and so is....Hey I could brag about the 5~ state titles and 1~ world series title that I have under my belt, but do you see me being worshiped ?? Heck no because I'm doing it for the kids not my glory !! Are there great coaches out there?...why sure, but without the talent you wouldn't be a great coach, just remember that !!!!!!

Guru

 

Find A Positive- It's Just Girls Playing Softball!

On my 14U team, I have five freshmen who made their HS varsity teams at four different high schools. Of the 4 high school coaches, only one does not allow players to play TB during school ball.

Of these 4 schools, one is very well coached, always fields strong team and most of the SB players play TB. Another doesn't have the best coaching but usually fields a good team (mainly due to most players on this team play TB), and the other two school aren't very well coached and only have a couple of TB players and their programs are usually weak.

But here is my take on this. I recognize this is high school season and will respect the high school coaches rules. For example, this weekend my team is playing in a TB tournament. However on Saturday, 2 of my players HS team is having a team garage sale as a fundraiser and 2 other players have practice. All asked me what they should do and without hesitating I said you honor your HS commitment. Could you imagine the resentment on the team if these players missed a team function to play TB? Not a good situation I want my players to be put in, especially as they are competing with upperclassmen for their positions. Plus, if I was the high school coach, there would be severe penalties for missing a team function/practice without a very good excuse.

Now here is the bright side to my team not having some of our older players available for Saturdays TB games. It will give my younger and less experienced players a chance to get more game time and experience. Sure, we may not be as competitive Saturday, but in the long run and when it counts in the ASA States and National qualifiers, we will be a better team.

Our team is TB fortunate in that I have 4 out of 5 HS coaches who understand the value TB brings to their HS teams and will allow these freshmen to play TB. But there is one coach that doesn't seem to get it.

This coach does not let her players, Varsity or JV play travel ball during SB. That's fine. However the problem I have is this coach has NEVER been to a TB tournament and she always fields a very good HS team due to the fact most of her players play TB. I guess that's OK too. But the real issue I have is this coach has several players on her HS team who are currently playing AAU volleyball and she allows THOSE girls to play AAU volleyball (one player plays both TB and VB) during SB, but no TB! Oh, I forgot to mention, this coach is also the HS VB coach...........................

Something else everyone needs to consider, in a season, the very best HS teams will play at most 34 games (if they make it all the way to the state finals). Most TB teams will play that many games in 4-5 tournaments and will play 12-16 tournaments in a year. So in the big picture, even if a DD doesn't play alot on the HS team, she will still have PLENTY of TB games ahead of her to show and improve her skills. Not to mention how much one can learn from watching the game when she isn't playing. I always tell my players, just because you aren't in the game physically, you are (or should be) in the game mentally.

There is so much a player can learn by watching other players. How hard they play, the good plays and bad, all the different situations that can arise are all excellent learning opportunities.

So to sum all this up, if you take the emotion out and look close enough, something positive can be found in every situation.

Bmac

 

I think you TB coaches should go to Alexander Central or North Davidson and look at how much HS coaches do for the girls. Then maybe the TB coaches would be thankful for what is handed to them.

 

Can my DD play for you? LOL! Great take coach!

 

I am not a coach but I can tell good ones from bad ones and unfortunately most high schools aren't blessed with coaches like AC or ND. What about girls that waste their spring season playing for coaches that don't have a clue just because they want to play for their school? Should they be penalized because they want to improve? I don't think it can be disputed that HS teams that are loaded with TB players do better in their season. Many times it takes TB coaches several tournaments to get their girls out of the bad habits they learn from HS ball. If a girl is sitting on the bench on her HS team and wants to also play TB to improve why would a coach deny her other than for his/her own ego. If she is on the bench the HS coach obviously thinks she cannot help his team so if she does get injured it can't hurt him and if she gets better it can only help him, but he will have to admit she got better playing TB and not HS ball.

 

Can't we all just get along?? Seriously...how about a little communication with the girls that actually play the game and what they would like to do? Too many people sound like they are controlling the lives of a bunch of teenage girls because a coach or parent believes they know exactly what's best for the girl without considering what the girl wants.

As a high school coach I encourage all my girls to play travel ball if they want to be better players. It has no effect on them making the HS team one way or another, but the best players all play yearround and we would be fooling ourselves not to believe that. I do this primarily because we see such lousy pitching on a regular basis. To me, it's important to talk to them individually on a regular basis about what kind of work they really need to do to become really good softball players. I don't sugar coat anything because I want them to have realistic expectations about how good you will be at anything in life if you don't put in the work.
However, I also talk to them about doing other things in life, having fun and having down time away from softball to avoid burnout should they decide to play year round. I have also talked to parents about this and about unnecessary negative comments they make about their girls if they aren't quite "perfect."
As far as if I girl quit and wanted to come back next year, I would be very hesitant, but not totally dismissive. It's not just about me or that girl, but also about the chemistry of the team. Does she show up at offseason workouts and earn her way back? I would want to know what the senior leaders of my team thought. Some my find that wrong but I believe in the need for team chemistry. I would explain this to the girl before she actually quit and the following year based on everything I mentioned and more, I would make an informed decision.

To me, what is completely lost in this entire discussion is what do the girls want. If they love playing this wonderful game, then let them play. They could just as easily get hurt walking down stairs at school as they can playing a game on a weekend. I expect my girls to be responsible, but not to stop living and enjoy life because it's the high school season or they have an important TB tournament in september.