Burnout

My DD had a little trouble with that, but it wasn't from playing in games. It was the grind of an ACL recovery and consistantly having TB coaches not play her and tell everyone she didn't have it. I think after a while we both started to believe it, but her HS coach in a way saved her from the wreckage when she selected her for varsity softball this past Spring. She would not play TB at all. So I just had to let it go. Once I saw her really happy with SB I figured that would be enough but it wasn't. She started to guest play towards the end of the SB season and realized she needed to play and got the spark back. I think guest playing did it. We got to go on a vacation, she got to see and visit her best friend from New Orleans for 5 days, she got to work with her Dad some and made some money, she had some weekends free, she went to the UNC advanced Skills camp, She got picked up by a 16U/HS team, but the important thing was she had time to be normal again outside of playing ball all the time. Someone told me that when your DD gets to about 14U/16U/18U they need some time off. He was right. Hope this helps.

 

Some Ideas

I never had this issue with my DD so I have no idea how I would have dealt with it. Like most such problems I think the best solution is primary prevention . . . . in this case structuring things so burnout doesn't occur. Here are some ways I see our experience was different that what I see today:

No travel ball 'till 12U! There's absolutely no reason in the world to play travel ball before this. Stick with rec ball do skill development and go to the beach on the weekends. 8U travel ball is the silliest thing I've ever seen and virtually guarantees a burnout or rebellion at some point.

If your DD is a pitcher less is better. Don't pitch more than 4X per week and never more than an hour in a session.

No 'Daddy Ball'. Leave your DD's coaching to someone else. She needs a break from you, especially in the teen years.

Always try to have a novel challenge for her. Whether it's a new camp to attend or a personal goal there needs to be some 'softball goal' just over the horizon. This may mean moving to a more competitive TB team or different hitting/pitching/fitness instructor. Don't change for the sake of change but teens are easily bored so change is good. Even as her collegiate career was ending my DD had European softball to look forward to.

Don't be afraid to experiment . . . it helps avoid boredom. She mentioned her 'new curve ball' this week . . . . this two months after her last collegiate game. I suspect she's 'developed' 20 pitches during her career (some for only one day!) but it's helped keep it fun for her.

 

Adding a couple different coaches to the mix and softball goals was big for us too. We were really forced to try other instructors because my DD's personal hitting instructor was not available. It gave her a different perspective on some mechanics. Same stuff, but presented in a different way. Went to a different camp....yep, doing all the things you mentioned. Now she's more focued than she has ever been, but the time off was big too.

 

My DD started out at 10U and after her first 16U season she was burned out. She wanted to have a normal teenage life and it took a while for me but in the end it was the right choice. She ended up wanting to get a job and now she is very happy working and making her own money. I'm very proud of her for making this decision and moving on in a maturing way.

Like in a previous post they should not start until 12U at the earliest!! My other daughter is now coming along and she wants to play travel ball but she won't until 12U. She plays rec and is going to a couple of camps this summer.

 

This is a very interesting thread...good job cheeze for bringing this up to discuss

 

I have shared this story before and I will share it again. At 14U we had one of the best teams in the state and were down playing at Myrtle where I was approached by the dad of an older player. He told me when they turn 16 you will loose half of them. The freedom of the DL and sense of adulthood that comes with it changes their focus. I dont feel this is as much about burn out at this age as it is about what I mentioned above.

True "burn out" I think comes at 18U and at college and I will tell you what IMHO the central focus of it is... no longer being "appreciated"... or the sense being appreciated. There are various levels of this from being an absolute star and going to a top D1 program and no longer being the star to simply playing on your TB club and batting in the 8 hole for example when you have always batted 3rd on your HS team or your previous TB club. You sprinkle in a dose of "why did the coach do that?"... like putting a 5ft tall player at first base and the kid wonders if they have been set up to fail.

I would be surprised if everyone of us on this board have not experienced at one time or another a situation where our daughters were not in a "good" situation... regardless of how good their skill level is. The most aggrevating thing to me about ball is the subjective nature of the evaulation process. I will use my 14U son as an example. He is not fast... he has always played catcher and is now playing every inning of every game at SS for his current TB team!!! You figure it out I can't... but its a good group so we play.

We are about to close in on the finish line with hopefully the realization of the dream. This process is going to throw you any number of obstacles before you get to the prize. It may be what I related above or it could be injuries or family finances. It may sound like a line from a Tony Robbins speech but basically you have to be tougher than what life throws at you. No matter who you are as a player this process will be extraordinarily difficult.. if you are playing 12U 14U or whatever and your dream is to play college ball imagine the most pot hole filled road you can and then add a "bridge out" as you close in to the finish. This is the best mental picture I can draw.

I dont look back on the whole process with rose colored glasses even though its common to do so when things work out for the best. I relate the truth as I experienced it because this board and this thread is about relating information that will help others navigate the waters. I am forever gratefull for those who believed in my daughter at the most critical time in the journey. In my situation I had two daughters who were good enough ballplayers to play in college... one was simply mentally tough enough to say: "I am tougher than what life throws at me" and the other was not. This is my take on "burn out".

Winston Churchill once gave the following commencement address: He stood up and said: "Never give up. never, Never, NEVER give up!" and he sat down.

 

Living with "Burnout Blues"

I am in the middle of burnout as we speak. I have an older DD playing at Elon and never saw burnout issues with her. Anyone who knows Ashlee will agre she is "driven" to excell. My younger DD started playing a 8 because big sister was playing and I wasn't smart enough to realize the effect it might have. Now that she is 16 she is looking back at all the stuff she missed out on and wants to have a life outside softball. After long talks about career oriented goals we decided to pass on the TB and the showcase circuit. After school ball was over and she was not playing it took about 2 weeks to realize she missed it.
Fortunately we found a local team that plays a local TB schedule, limited travel, MUCH less expensive. She has found her desire again. Really looks forward to playing. Most important she has found an appreciation for the game she loves. It is showing in the way she plays too.
Sometimes you don't realize how good you got it until its gone, then its too late to get it back. If you're pushing your DD to play make sure she is the one who wants it, not you.

 

I believe a lot of this comes down to team chemistry. Do the girls want to be around each other?

Coaches, when you are not at the ballpark, do non-softball stuff. Turn off the softball switch and do something that the girls want to do.

Remember, at the higher age groups, we are having to compete with boys, cars, jobs, finding freedoms, ect. Take a look in the mirror. What would you do if your boss told you that he wants you to focus on your job 24/7? How long would you be there?

 

The best way to deal with burn out is to allow rest time. My DD started playing ball at the Y, to rec ball to county ball to tb to hs, started dancing at age 3 with competition starting at 6 and tennis as a ninth grader, playing varsity and summer league each yr, now mind you she graduated with a 4.20 ave (honor and ap classes help the gpa)...her biggest hunk of time went toward dance with all it's pressures of perfection (with an athletic body type easy for the physical part and deadly for the emotional part)...where did she burn out...not dance, not tennis...yep softball (which is Mom's first love, played all levels until I was too old and coached hs level in the past)...I contribute it to her frustration level...first tb coach a wreck, subbed for others that were really good, first hs coach an idiot (catering to certain parents) second hs coach an idiot to the playing of the game (she started every game and was his field coach...lots of pressure there as she was blamed for not keeping the team error free)...then chose not to play any sport at the college level (could have probably played D3 sb, D2 tennis or dance team)...wants to experience life...now as a rising sophmore wants to play IM or club softball, maybe...she is testing the waters...so after this long cleansing post...bottom line...guide your DD but if it isn't rewarding they will burn out, end up hating it...how do you deal with it? by remembering the fact that you lived your life (I was blessed with supportive parents that allowed me to make choices) so I must be supportive of my DD's choices to live her life and find something else to fullfill my needs...