How does a player talk to a coach about playing time?

"If you don't have respect, you will have questions, bottomline. Just my 2 cent."

Just a thought on the above quote...
I can teach Lil Johnny in the 9th grade and be applauded by his parents (email and face to face) for how good a teacher I am, "even though I'm a coach." RESPECTED. I can receive offers from his parents to help with the program in any way through his freshman and sophomore years as he starts on the JV, under my great program's developing tutelage. RESPECTED. Then, when he gets to the varsity as a junior, where four other juniors were already starting as sophs (when he was on JV) along with two sophs who were starters as freshmen - and a current freshman starts on the team because he's just that good - suddenly I am a cold, insensitive person who tears kids down; a negative influence who doesn't know how to nurture kids. Unfair and not giving chances.
And, sadly, that is not a simple few. That is a growing majority of non-starting players' parents.

And forget the info at the player/parent meeting at the beginning of the season. It is TOTALLY disregarded. Playing time is discussed in meetings which ADs and principals entertain all the time - often without the coach's knowledge, and definitely without his attendance. The parents simply call and say they have a serious issue to speak about with the administrator. Because of the climate/culture, the administrator "must" meet. In the end, the detrimental issue is rooted in playing time.

Not once in in my years has a "starter's" parent called a meeting with AD/Principal and complained about how his/her kid is treated, what is said to him, how much BP or grounders he gets - NEVER! One starter's parent called a meeting once, but that was after I had stupidly (genuine assesment of self) yelled at him after he yelled calling me "stupid" from the stands. I poorly decided to answer back.

Sorry for the rant. Back to the original question...
Just what the others said.
However, are you asking how to get better? No, usually it's "how do I get in?" Simple answer, "be BETTER than the guy in front of you."
Realize, if your son is the best, he will play if the coach is at all concerned about winning. Now that doesn't mean that kids aren't first priority. It also doesn't mean that they are second just because they don't play. See, I LOVE my own children; however, I don't take my 3 year old to the field with my high school players to hit in the cage and catch grounders and throw. I do take my 7 year old. He knows which hand to put the glove on and has the ability to make contact with a thrown ball. The 3 year old just wants to use the bat as a shovel and the glove as a tent for action figures. If they both played for me, the 3 year old might get a uni, but he would sit... and his momma better not ask to speak with the principal!

Finally, it is also numbers and programmed mentality. Before HS, no kid plays on a team of more than 12 or so, with some missing for this or that and everyone playing - whether LL or "travel" with 2-3 games in a Saturday. At HS, there can be as many as 14-16-18 players. Games are one a day, 2-3 in a week. Varying roles are needed for the program to succeed, but not all will play. I got it - think of this: have you ever watched a MLB game where Mariano gets loose in the pen? Do you know that bullpen catcher NEVER plays? But he makes a couple hundred thousand, knows and fills his role - and gets the same ring. Think about it...

 

And the coach ends up sleeping on the couch....

Classic!!

 

The Most difficult situation is when..............

The situation is most unmanageable when a parent has a son who plays for a COACH who also has a son on the team AND who always plays shortstop and bats 4th (WHEN HE IS NOT PITCHING). These guys ought not be allowed to coach!!!
I guess what I am saying is the MOST subjective person at the ballpark is the coach who plays "Daddyball". When are these guys gonna get a clue??

 

Great set of comments, but I will add 1 thing... Yes they will call and complain if their child doesnt get a D-1 Scholly.... the coach should have promoted my kid more....

nuff ced!

 

As I said, I admire today's coaches because I couldn't do it. All I want to do is to teach the game and help in other ways to make him a better player and person, but I couldn't be "friends" with a parent, unless he played for me. I don't have the patience to explain why I do things to a non-starter. It's redundant, and the first time a parent dragged me into an office to meet with the AD or Principal without my knowledge...well, it reminds me of an old country song, "Take this job......"

But to be honest, being on this side of the fence I have had a chance to meet some great parents....and believe it or not, some of them had kids that weren't starters. Now that's not the norm, but I treasure the one's that I meet. In fact, I make an effort to meet their kid and spend some quality time with him. I find they are very special kids.

 

How do you do it?

How do you talk to the coach?

You are the first guy to show up and the last guy to leave.
You are the guy shagging bp with a purpose , working on your reads , busting your butt even if everyone else is standing in left field shooting the breeze.
Your the guy in the cage getting in the extra work. The guy asking for more reps. The guy asking for more when everyone else has had enough.
Your the guy that always shows up for extra work with the coaches.
Your the guy that always asks for extra work with the coaches.
Your the player that is always looking for ways to get better and opportunities to get better.
No matter what your doing your doing it harder and longer with with more passion that everyone else.
When the coach needs someone to do something you just do it. You dont wait for anyone else to step up you just do it.
You play harder than everyone else.

If your not in the line up and your just doing what everyone else is doing how do you expect to change your situation? Do more. Do it harder. Do it with more effort. Do it with a great attitude.
Coaches play favorites. And their favorites are the guys who show them what they are looking for. You lose yourself in the quest to be the best player you can be and the best team mate you can be. And you dont allow yourself to get caught up in the negative bs that others that are not getting playing time get caught up in. Your preparing yourself everyday for your opportunity. That one at bat. The one shot to run the bags. That one inning to play defense. The one shot your not waiting for but your preparing for.

You do all of this because this is what you are about. And if you do this you will be talking to the coach in the language that he understands. Your not asking him for anything. Your telling him with your actions that your going to be ready when you opportunity comes. Your not waiting for anything. Your preparing for your opportunity and you will be ready when it comes. The coach is watching. He is looking for someone. And when he sees your not asking for anything your earning an opportunity your time will come. And you will be ready because you will know you have earned it and no one gave you a darn thing.

Someone is going to struggle. Someone is going to get dinged up. Someone is going to show the coach that you deserve that opportunity more than they do. So prepare yourself for that opportunity that you will earn by talking to the coach with your actions and not your words. Words are cheap. Everyone wants to play. Not everyone is willing to do what it takes to get the opportunity to play.

What can you control? Control it. What you can not control forget. If you want a coach to give you and opportunity forget it. If you want to earn an opportunity then go out and earn it. And be prepared to seize it and prove you are ready to take advantage of it. You are either waiting for something or your preparing for something. There is a huge difference. As soon as you believe its in someone else's hands you no longer control your fate. When you believe its in your hands and your willing to work for it your entire outlook and perspective will change.

Talk to the coach with your actions. Talk to him with your work ethic and your attitude. Talk to him with your passion everyday at practice. He will listen. Not with his ears. But with his eyes. Speak to the coaches heart with your actions. "Now thats what I am looking for." "Theres a kid who wants it and is willing to work for it." "I need to reward that kid for his effort and his hard work." "Its time to give _________ a shot he has earned it." And then be ready to knock down the door.

The coach wants players like you. He needs players like you. So be that player.

Parents dont play. So they dont have a say in who does. And for players like you thats exactly how you want it. Don't ask for something you want. Go out and earn it. Go out and take it. And never allow someone that does not wear a uniform to ask anyone for anything for you. Its your opportunity you are going to earn. And in your hands no one else has that right. If your not willing to do what I posted. If its simply not in you. Then you dont deserve it. If you are. You will get what you deserve.

 

wow...I sure have missed Kenny May

 

Best advice ever

The best quote I ever heard from a parent regarding his very talented son: "I'm raising a young man, not a shortstop". And he did. In other words, what Coach27 said - in everything.

 

As a transfer student, I went up to my future college coaches office and told him I wanted to be a part of his team. I told him I'd throw long relief, short relief, be the teams BP pitcher (many would say that was my only real skill...before AND during the game). But I found out years later how well that was received, and honestly it was purely accidental because I'm not that humble or political. Somewhere in there is a lesson...

* If I could figure out how to do one of those cool icons I'd include a smiley, I've been advised that they're in...however...

 

Here ya go tooz...borrow one of mine