Little League Father/Coach

I haven't been to a Little League games in years, but I saw something last evening that made me realize that we are still having problems with Coaches/ Fathers.
Here is what happened:
My neighbor's son (age 8) plays at a local recreation league in Matthews. His team (won't mention the name) was in his teams conference semi-final game. While his team was playing hard, they happened to be losing this game by a couple of runs. The Head coaches son, who appears to be a terrific athletic, was not having the best of games. As the game progressed, I heard the coach say to his son (I was standing near the dugout) and I quote......" if we lose this game, it will be your fault"! If you could have seen this poor kids face ............. I don't even know this kid and my heart was broken. IMO An individual like this should NEVER be allowed to Coach any team, anywhere, any time! It's a shame that some parent's just don't get it.

 

Heat of the moment....

I see this in little league and travel ball every week and it is disgusting BUT when I was coming thru with my son I am afraid I was guilty of being too tough on my son. Oh the mistakes we make until we learn and get wise! Shame on me!

 

It is a shame to put that on a kid.
My oldest is 7 and is getting the itch to start playing.
We are looking at next year.
Some are shocked that he wasn't signed up for something at age 2, since I'm a varsity head coach.
But we have always wanted him to want it, not to have the game thrust upon him.
At 7 he has more natural ability than dad ever did, especially with the bat.
I think he will have a chance to be successful. (But, unlike others, no verbal commitment yet. Different discussion.)
I just don't want it to be about my success through him.

And I've seen plenty of coaches put more on their kids than others on the team. While it's not right to treat yours better or make it easier on your own (I think the term is Daddy Ball), it's also not right to make it tougher on your own either. It's like some feel they have to show up their own kid so no one will accuse them of favoritism. Bad situation.

I think I'll hit print and then staple all this to my office board - just as a reminder for when that 7 year-old is 17...

 

Let's not forget this doesn't just happen in little league.

This past weekend I officiated a Babe Ruth game where the best pitcher in my school was playing. I could not get him to try out for my program this year as freshman.

In this particular game they were gonna win before the 1st pitch was thrown so he was used as a sub. From my memory he fielded one groundball and made play at 1B, and walked in his only time AB.

I was told afterward that his dad told him he played like !@#$%^%&* and that he should $#&*(&*(.

It's no wonder I can't get him to come out for the HS team, if he happened to kick one his dad may very well hurt him.
Sad because as a freshman he probably would have been my top Varsity pitcher but I doubt will ever play one pitch of HS for me.

 

I have seen both sides of the equation too many times to count. The father/coach who artficially elevates his son and places him into roles he has not earned or should have on a team. However probably more often I have seen the father/coach place unrealistic expectations and the son and be much harder on him than the rest of the players.

Since the youth sports only function with volunteer parents as coaches it is tough to get all of it out of the system.

We do get wiser as we get older, hopefully we learn from our experiences.

 

Agree with fathers not always making the best coaches, also understand that most youth sports organizations depend largely on volunteers which are usually fathers or mothers.

With that said, when I read the above comment that PhillyDave overheard, my first reaction was not only "this guy dont need to coach",,,, no I am reminded by the fact that there are many who dont need to be fathers.

I was walking my dogs a couple weeks ago, and it was all I could do to keep from going up in a yard and saying something to some b*tch because of the profanity-laced things she was yelling at her own small child who was probably no more than 5-6 years old.

Some people just shouldnt be parents, period. Hate to say that, but its true.

 

another angle...

I think one aspect that factors in to the way kids react to overbearing coaches and fathers is somewhat unique to baseball. Coaches are usually fathers at the youth level and their kids are usually some of the better players because they have worked with them from an early age. But the father who is not a coach, but critiicizes the player from the sidelines, or walking to the car, or on the ride home, etc is very impactful to the player's attitude about the game.

Here is my point....baseball is a team game with multiple isolations on an individual player's performance. The pitcher is a success or failure with every pitch...the batter is a success or failure with each at bat. There is no where to hide when a pitcher has thrown 8 straight balls, or when a batter swings through 3 straight pitches. With soccer, football and other sports it's easier to get lost in the herd and away from the scrutiny and associated pressure to perform. I believe an overbearing coach or father can push kids to the point they want to escape or at a minimum lose sight of the fun of the game itself.

 

While I was harder at times on my son as a Coach, I "NEVER" yelled or "BELITTLED" him, especially in front of all his teammates. These Coaches will be wondering one day, "gee I don't know why junior doesn't want to play baseball (or whatever sport) anymore"! Hopefully these so called fathers will wake up someday and realize the damage their doing to their sons and daughters confidence. Sorry for the rant, but this is a subject that really pisses me off!

 

I was guilty as well.

 

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]As a player, I was lucky ... my Dad was my 1st ( and best ) coach, but was never on the field. He was at EVERY game (even in college) , but I rarely knew where he was standing and certainly NEVER heard his voice. I guess that's why when I coached my kid, I always asked another assistant to convey "the message" to him ... and why thru his hs career I was pretty much out of sight and ( except for a couple slips! ) out of earshot.

It aint easy.
[/FONT]