How Far is too Far

Okay softball parents of DDs and you DDs chime in too if you like.

For our daughters who play SB and drive, how far is too far for us to reasonably allow them to drive on their own for SB practice, lessons or even the fun stuff. My 16 y/o, who has her "after nines" so far in her life proven herself to be responsible and trustworthy believes that my limit of 2 hours away is unreasonable. She says that I am unreasonable and other 16 y/o are driving much further this weekend...i.e. spring break at Myrtle Beach. She says I am over protective and not demonstrating a willingness to let her try. :banginghe I know teenagers are eager to spread their wings, but who are you parents who are giving your girls this much leeway? I thought that I was going too far with 2 hours. I have expressed to her that everything comes in time and this is not her time to which she responded And stormed out of the house to go to her PT job.

Parenting is a tough job and it is even tougher for our girls who spend their summers on the ballfield when most of their friends are at the pool, the mall, or the beach. They dream of the payoff and love to be on the field but the world is a big place full of other experiences. I would like to see my kid live to experience as much as life has to offer. But I know statistically that she is more likely to get in an accident 5 miles from the house than on a highway on her way to whatever is on the schedule. I also know that young idealistic girls are easy prey on the road. Com'on parents and DD's gimme your Surely I am not the only one having this talk

 

well CoachG you are already letting her go farther than I will allow mine. the old all the others are doing it is an wore out line. she is not able to see you are looking out for her best interest. and as far as myrtle beach spring break, you might as well put her into a pit of snakes and see if she can make it out unscathed. (i know, i know that some of your little darlings are so innocent and just go have fun, yeah yeah yeah. why do you think the guys are so eager to buddy up and go. the stories i've heard from participants of the mb spring break would tell me that some are not so innocent.) as far as summer ball i worked harder to make my dd's tourn. experience more enjoyable by taking advantage of down time. gather up team friends and go to local mall and let them hang out (why you rest in food court), or anything else to do with shopping. when not playing on wknds. plan as many things as possible with her friends that don't play even if it means sponsoring an excursion and all niter at your house (you will come as the invisible man). just don't let her tantrums dictate what you allow. stick to your guns and it will work out. try to make the softball more fun than work, then she'll work. it's funny how after the tourn. is over and the excitement settles that they start to come down and are looking to get revved up again by hitting you with "my friends are doing so much". they forget all that they have just done and accomplished "and how much you just spent on them ha ha." good luck coach you are not alone, if you find the right answer, write a book. also the best kept secret in fastpitch tournaments is "the guys haven't figured out that it is all girls all weekend; and I hope they don't find out!

 

Well Coach G, I can only say that I think the fact that you are asking what other parents do and how other DD's feel is a good start. But when it comes right down to it you have to go with your gut. 16 YO's have not had to face that many situations where they have to make LIFE or DEATH decisions, eventually they all will and you will just have to hope that you have talked honestly to your DD enough that she will make the right decision. I personally think 2 hours from home for a 16 YO is too far. I also think MB Spring Break is wrong for a 16 YO unsupervised. I say to be a parent for as long as you can and at least lessen their chances to make the wrong decision, there will be lots of chances in DD's life for that. We all have to make mistakes in life, that is part of how ae learn. You can use examples from your life as many times as you wish, but it will not be the same as your DD's experiencing it for herself. I was told once "Say YES and many times as you can so that the times you have to say NO they will really understand that it was important that you say NO! Try to let your DD do things with friends and teammates with your supervision at a distance both of you are comfortable with.:imagestor You have to let them grow up but in the world today, there is that chance that one wrong decision could keep them from getting to grow up at all! I believe that a parent can be a friend but you MUST be a PARENT first and formost! We were all teenagers once, try to remember what life was like for you and your parents and then factor in the world the way it is now and find a happy medium. Just keep the lines of communication open at all times. Trust me you would rather the DD come to you than to someone else. Don't beat your head against a wall over every little situation.:banginghe Good Luck and welcome to dealing with and raising a teenager.

 

thanks

Thanks, the dialogue is enlightening. It also deflated the all-the-other-kids-parents-do argument. So now she thinks we're all nuts But she knows she is loved and really, mother knows best