Open Letter to Indy85

Indy85 brought up a point that I found too important to ignore, but is never discussed

How can one not feel the frustration and anger Indy85 is feeling? Despite what anyone may think, parents have an emotional investment in their son. We don’t like to see our son hurt. We feel his hurt in ways no one else can. We spend our life trying to prepare them for life’s curves, but hate when they come.

On game day, Indy85 probably spent all day at work thinking about the game that night and praying that his son could contribute to a win. He was able to stick out his chest when his son hit a HR. He bathed himself with pride as parents were slapping his back saying all those nice things about his son….his son…Indy85, jr. A contributor on the team: an emotional vested interest in the team. He gets to whoop it up with his teammates after a win…and cry in the dugout after a loss. But now it’s different….and it’s tough. And it may be tougher on the parent.

Those days of parents and teammates slapping your son on the back for a job well done are rare. Those days of sitting in your office dreaming about your son hitting the HR to win the game against the rival is blurry. To constantly hear from well intentioned friends telling you, “Tell Jr to keep his head up. He will get his chance” does not make you feel better. That happy-go-lucky teenage son of yours that always bounded the steps effortlessly, now has begun to drag up those steps. The relationship with his teammates may become strained.

You feel the dreams of your son have been stolen. His enthusiasm and love for the game may have changed. So, as a parent, your heart has been broken. You can’t complain because it is a team game and you will be cast as selfish. You don’t want to see your son hurt, but what can you do?

This is the most important advice I can give one father to another. All those years you’ve spent practicing and counseling your son in baseball can be gone like family pictures burned in a fire. This is your time to step up and be the father. You will not allow him to quit. You must teach him how to embrace that hurt and to channel it in a positive way. If he is going to be a leader in the dugout, teach him to be the best cheerleader. Teach him to understand the importance of being the first one out of the dugout to congratulate or console. Teach him how to rise above the turbulence: and how to use that chip on his shoulder to outwork everyone. Because there is one thing I can say with absolute certainty. He will get that opportunity again to perform.

It’s been my experience that the kids that had to taste “real life” at an early age and were able to overcome those challenges in baseball (or any sport) became the real leaders on their team, often became the best player and every time became a better person.

What makes this so frustrating is there is no one to blame. Although you want to blame the coach, you can’t. He made the decision to do what’s in the best interest of his team, not your son. That’s tough to hear and sometimes hard to swallow, but nonetheless, it’s true.

So, speaking as one father to another, take this situation and turn it into a positive. You have an opportunity to help your son mature. It can be done…and it can be very rewarding. How do I know this? Because it has happened to me…twice.

I hope you will think about some of the things I said, but at least remember this. Don't let your last post on TBR be the final one. You have too many other important things to say!


There is one other important thing for me to say. I know who your son is and I know he is talented. He will get his opportunity to shine again...... it's his job to be ready.

 

Life

This is my wish for all our kids playing sports as this virtue will pay dividends long after that last game is played.

 

Thanks, Braves. This post provides clarity and hope during seemingly hopeless times. You have helped more people than you know with this one.

This is a keeper!

 

Braves is a "Keeper"

There............I said it.

 

Kids are instinctive. Sure they are upset when they aren't playing, but they are more upset about something else. They want there dad to be proud of them and they feel they let their dad down. The quicker the dad realizes this and helps the son's fear of letting dad down, the father can help direct his son's energies in a more positive way.

There are many dad's out there that have gone through what Indy is going through. One of the best features of this board are members sharing their experiences with others: To let them know they aren't alone and there is a path to success.

This is one of the few situations found that a father has tremendous influence. It must start with dad He must be the rock because if he is the one complaining and feeling morose...guess what?

I hate for anyone having to go through this, but the silver lining is a father has been granted in opportunity to teach his son an important life lesson and how to overcome a difficult challenge that he will face later in life....and the relationship between father and son will strengthen because of it.

It's priceless, isn't it.

 

Kids always have to be ready for their opportunity will come. Ask Wally Pip what happens when the guy on the bench is ready to play.

 

Wally Pipp

On June 2, 1925 Pipp was removed from the Yankees' starting lineup and replaced by Lou Gehrig. While many stories over the years have suggested that Pipp sat out the game due to a headache, Yankee manager Miller Huggins had actually benched Pipp and other veterans in order to "shake up" the slumping lineup. A month later, Pipp received a skull fracture when he was hit by a practice pitch from Charlie Caldwell, an event that had also been mistakenly linked to his initial benching. Pipp was later traded to the Cincinnati Reds before the 1926 season. He played 372 games for them over the next three seasons before retiring. Gehrig went on to start 2,130 consecutive games

 

indy85

What is this in response to?

 

Sophmores on varsity thread

 

I was torn up.

Mine made his JV team as a freshmen. However he wasn't getting much playing time. There was a stretch there where he sat for 2 consecutive games. He was devasted. One quiet ride home after that last game I asked him if he was ok. I was at a loss for words. This would be a turning point. Its hard to find the right words. It would be easy to blame the coach. (I wasn't impressed by some of the tactical decisions of the coach. But my impression of the coach had nothing to do with this.)

This was one of those father and son times that would last a lifetime.

I had let go of my little boy and let him embrace some of lifes challenges. He was going to have to work this out himself.

Its funny because now that I look back at I saw this coming at the beginning of the season. However I knew back then that I had to let go.

Up until then It had always been him and his old man playing catch in the backyard. Oh we still play catch but this year things where going to be a little bit different.

I started out with something like,"Hey your gonna get your chance." His reply was something like, "Even some of the other guys think I should be STARTING." He then mumbled , "The coach is an idiot." Or something like that.

I explained, "He may not get it all right some of the time, and this may be one of those time HOWEVER, only you can work hard to play. It doesn't matter what the coach does. IT matters what you do about it. If in the end he still doesn't play you or start you then nothing is lost. HOWEVER if you don't try to do something about it then you loose. IF the coach doesn't see you working hard then thats his problem. Not yours."

He got through this and did start to see some playing time and eventually started a few games and made a game winning catch in RF one game.

Just wanted to add this.