Most Important Post Ever on TBR

By ecu78


After visiting this site for awhile, I saw this thread and just had to add my special memory. My son liked to play baseball but was never great at it. He wasn't talented enough to play high school ball but he played summer ball whether it was Little League or Babe Ruth, He never made any all star teams or such. He was just good enough to start. Most of all, he liked to play Babe Ruth ball with his friends. The boys just had a good time even though success was hard to find. During a Senior Babe Ruth game one night, my son was playing first and a fly ball was hit behind first into short right field. He turned and hustled to make an over the head catch that Willie Mays would have been proud of. I just stood there not believing what I just saw. I was in awe. Before I could make my way out of the dugout (I was on scorebook duty) to congratulate him, he had already returned the ball to the pitcher and was in stance for the next defensive play. With the next pitch, a ball was hit to second and he dropped a perfect throw at first. I told him when he came in how pretty the fly ball catch was and then asked him what happened on the throw from second. I can remember how fast his smile changed into a lowered head. To this day, I regret not making a bigger deal out of the great catch. And now I can't. My son was killed almost two years ago, months after making that catch. I responded to this thread so I could tell the dads out there to make sure you appreciate the memories you have and ones to come. Make sure your son has a smile on his face after the game. More importantly, make sure you do to. Always be positive and somehow forget the "bad". Believe me, winning or losing a baseball game just isn't that important anymore. I would give anything to see that smile again.
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I wish I could be wise enough to do the right thing with my boys. I wish I could go back and see that smiling face my oldest had when he was younger playing baseball. He still plays in college but he is too serious all the time now like I thought I wanted him to be when he was younger.

Nick was goofy on the ball field and he used to drive me nuts. If he got a game winning hit or if he struck out you could not tell by looking at him because he always had a grin on his face. It drove me crazy. Some of his other coaches didn't like it either because they thought it was a sign of weakness like he didn't care.

Well that goofy kid had it right all along. He didn't care about success or failure, he just loved to play. He loves it now but after the years of being brow beat by me to be tougher and to care more he just doesn't smile much. Even after he hits a homerun he just looks serious. I could kick myself. I miss that smiling little boy now that he is 20 years old. My stupid macho man self would be proud of how he is now but my old heart that my Lord Jesus has softened is sad.

I am so blessed to have a 2nd chance with the little one, Nate. He pitched for the 1st time this fall and grinned the whole time. I loved it and just let him go. But the whole game I could look back in the memory bank and see Nick just a grinning and think about how stupid I was.

This fall when Nate got his 1st start pitching he would look into the dugout at me and grin after each pitch. After each strikeout he would look at me and grin and give me the thumbs-up. I liked the grins more than the strike-outs. I am going to try very hard to enjoy the time on the field and not be the pushy dad i was with Nick.

This does not even come close to comparing with losing a son to death but this is another way you can lose a part of your son you can never get back. I still have Nick and God willing I will get to watch him play 2 more years of college baseball before he has to hang it up. If you have a son playing ball or doing whatever you better enjoy each moment. Not that you don't have to coach and teach them but do, yes do make a big deal out of everything good they do and forget when they didn't win it all or do everything right.

Our children are a gift from God. I have been truly blessed with 2 wonderful boys.

 

We're traveling down the same road, my friend. It's nice to have a 10 yo to do it again...and doing it the right way. I almost caught myself getting intense with him in a certain situation...then caught myself and laughed. Life is good!!! I've been blessed, also

 

I can't speak for others, but this post is so powerful that it affects me every time I read it

 

Braves will be 2 for 2

I don't know how Braves could improve on the job he did with his first son. That young man is awesome. Well spoken, polite, kind and respectful. How could you possibly have any regrets?

 

Godspeed...

ECU78 I have two one 21 and 17 and wish I could do so very much over again as I am humbled by how poorly a job I have done raising my own two children while spending literally half my life giving so much to so many other hundreds of kids of all ages. Please do not interpret this wrong for I have experienced the same situation you described several times on the ballfields and courts with both of them and thank God they are still here and healthy and I hope I have at least taught them the capacity to forgive me someday and know that I really meant no harm and it was the wrong way for ME to show that I do care and love them deeply. My wife says it best all the time to them:
(1) "Her tears for them as she is hurt from their hurt and pain will be that of blood"
(2) "She would set herself afire to prevent them any and all harm and hurt"
Again, Godspeed my friend and just do the best you can as we always try and do what we think is right (often times not truly thinking).

 

Thanks D...that was very kind of you to say.

I guess what I mean is when I look back, I probably emphasized what he was doing wrong more than what he was doing right. It's human nature (or at least I believe that) to find the things they need to improve on. But what I get out of this message is to celebrate the things they do right...and enjoy that moment.

 

Braves....I know we have had a lot of great posts on here. But this is by far one of the best I have ever read.

I am fortunate enough to have a son still playing baseball and I have some really great memories of watching him grow up playing baseball....but, I too have some of those not so fun memories I wish I could go back and change the way I handled the situation.....he still loves the game and I like to think he is a pretty good kid on and off the field.....his mamma did a good job with him, she didn't let me ruin him completely.

Thank God I did learn from my mistakes (yes Braves, an old dog can learn new tricks)....I also have a daughter that plays softball and my approach with her has been completely different....I focus on the good things she does and she seems to really enjoy playing the game....we still work on areas that need improvement but I approach them in a much different way than I did with my son.

Enjoy the time you have with them and build all the good memories you can.....they grow up so fast and it seems like yesterday that they were sitting in the outfield picking flowers as a ball goes rolling past them.

 

Swarm Ball, Baby!!!....what fun memories

 

Let me say thanks...

Guys, as some of you may know, I have a little boy who will be three in January and a little girl who is three months old today. I am certain that I will screw things up with them. But I wanted to say thank you, to all of you that have been down the path I am heading, and for sharing your memories, achievments, regrets and most of all, your wisdom.

This is a great baseball baord, but to me, this board has even greater people. I may not always post, and when I do, my comments might not always be great, but I can tell you this...I am learning from you guys about how to be a Dad.

I asked "The Deuce" the other night if he had any regrets as far as being a father who coaches. I have a passioin for young people and the game of baseball, but to say it pales in comparisom to the passion and love I have for my kids would be an understatement. Maybe a good thread would be advice from Dads who coach.....? I don't know? Just a thought.

Thanks