Question for the Coaches???

How would you handle this situation:

You have a very good pitcher and a supporting father. You get along well with the father and he doesn't TRY to interfere with your program. But he is always by the dugout giving instructions to his son: "Keep your front shoulder in, etc...." The son always hears his dad and it appears to affect his pitching. The son is too fine with his pitches, trying to make the perfect pitch, and is thinking too much. I need him to just "let it go" and I believe he would have much more success.

I want to know how you guys would handle this situation? I know the first thought is too address the father, but I want to see if there are others ways I haven't thought of. Like I said, the father is a nice guy and doesn't upset the team and I know he thinks he is helping his son.

 

You talking about me?

Shot I was that guy!!!! Especially the nice part. I even caught myself advising other pitchers other than my son!! This only happened a few games and I realized what I was doing on my own. Just by chance I was standing outside the dugout last night and caught my son’s eye. Seeing me close he approached with that look of “How am I doing”. I just nodded and smiled with no comment. OK! I did say you’re throwing well but did not try to correct anything. I will still give advice but only when approached by the guys after the games. I really like these guys and have worked with most of them in the past so it’s just really hard staying away.

I know this question was directed at the coaches but like I said, I have a problem not being involved. The coach in his next casual conversation with the parent needs to tell him about another parent in the past that was too involved with coaching his son during the game and what a problem it was. The parent may realize “on his own” after hearing the story, he needs to move further up the bleachers.

I’m inspired now and think it’s time for me to share my story with a current JV parent that needs to hear it. If not the players maybe I can screw up the parents!!!

 

hahaha...no "it's"...it was not you, but you offered some great advice.

 

As a former coach I hope it's ok for me to reply...imo, it's much better that you have that subtle discussion with the Dad as opposed to the kid himself becoming involved. And now that I have a kid pitching in HS, as much as I would love to be standing behind the backstop watching every pitch, let me suggest to these Dad's to take a walk down the 3rd base line while the boy is on the bump ... that's where you'll find me ... it's his time, plus that way he can't see me shaking my head every time he goes 1-0.

 

that is so funny, but true

 

Here's what I would do:

Address the entire group of parents, maybe through email, of the policies of your team...such as no talking to players during a game (obviuosly only if that is a team policy). Start general and that way no one person is offended or feels bad about it. If not, go to the next step and speak to the dad about it.

 

Good advice, baseball 411. Addressing it with team policies usually eliminates the majority of this. If not, I would go to dad respectfully and remind him not only of the team policy but that he is in fact hurting his kid's perfromance unintentionally.

One way to handle this is by talking to the player one on one and asking him how he feels about this. I've had players who wanted me to ask their dads to "let them pitch". Since the relationship with this dad is a good one, you could mention that "Johnny" wants him to stop coaching from the stands but doesn't want to be disrespectful. Tell him of past situations where well-intentioned dads in fact hurt their kids' performance and that is why the team policy is in effect. Sometimes educating parents about this is necessary.

The other type of parent, the know-it-all dad who isn't respectful, is another story!

 

if the dad respects you, he will listen and take your advice. Also, if you let him know that the recruiters frown on kids being "coached up" by parents during games, and at practice, then that may just be enough to get dad back up into the stands.

At Northwood, before all the upgrades to the stands, there was a couple of picnic tables up the hill and to the side (out of the pitcher's line of sight) behind home plate. This was the "dad seating" where we could congratulate, or commiserate, with each other. It was also right next to a opening to the cross country trail. This was handy for those times when you needed to go cuss and/or beat your head against a tree!

 

Possible College?

If the kid has college potential. Tell him and his dad that college coaches will likely not recruit him if he focuses on dad rather than the game. College coaches are looking for self motivated and mature players that don't pay any attention to the stands, even if it is dad.
If you are going to offer money to a player you want to be sure he is able to handle himself and not need his dad to be able to play. This is a fact as I have changed my mind on player for this very reason.

 

Good advice

Of course you are going to go over this in your meeting with the team before the season. In this situation I would pull the player to the side and explain to him that this is not going to be tolerated. Tell him that he needs to talk to his dad. If the player can not handle it with the dad then you set up a meeting with the dad and you tell him one on one its not going to be tolerated. If the dad can not handle that then tell him he can either learn to handle it or stay away from the games. If he cant do that tell him to take his son and himself somewhere else where they will tolerate it.

It not only distracts the player and his ability to play the game it distracts the other players as well. No one wants to deal with this type of stuff. Thats one reason you see it go one. You either deal with it or you suffer through a bunch of BS.

I would hope that if you sat down with the father and explained to him that he is only hurting his son he would leave him alone and let him play. Its very hard for some people to let go and let their kids handle their business. But at some point and time you have to do just that.