Decisions

The TBR scene is kinda slow these days-so I will post on something we just went through with our younger son.

We were looking for a new travel team-since our previous one was going to fold because of several players wanting to play football. I made a few phone calls to see what was available. There were several teams looking for players. One was one of the better in the state in my son's age group.
There were a couple new teams and some average at best local teams. We could have played with a team that was over and hour away. So we had many choices.
I talked to a parent on the better team. He was pleased with the coaching and all the "good players they had". They won most of their games and were looking to add a few players. I decided to go to their tryout.
A few days into the tryout my "buddy" told me a few things about the team. They were looking for kids who could dominate now! My son who is most likely going to be a late bloomer like my older son-can not "dominate now". He also informed me that the coach was crazy. I said what do you mean? He said he was really intense and he had heard lots of profanity from the dugout! I said, Really! He said yes but that was what his son needed!
In the mean time we had also tried out with a new team. The coach said they were not going to be super team. They were all about developing and improving the kids and getting them ready for high school
ball.
So we took the two options in consideration.
Play for the best team in the state and loose all the morals we have taught our 11 year old over the years. Or play for a beginner team who will focus on developing our son into a decent ballplayer and probably not win half our games.

Anyone who knows us-knows it was not really a decision at all.
The decision was easy as we have always went out of our way to raise kids with good morals. Not to win at any cost!

But I think often of the kid who's parent says he needs that kind of treatment!

We were later informed our son did not make the "better" team.

 

As you stated NC...it really was not a decision. I guess in the other dad's position, he mistakenly felt his son would receive misguided discipline.

I don't care what level of baseball a young man is playing. He will always need developing. In my opinion, the most important factor is the coaching he will receive, then the attitude and makeup of his teammates

It appears that the coach you have described has his own agenda

 

My son got calls to play for some top teams, but we chose to keep him with the coaches and kids he'd played for all along. They didn't practice nearly enough or go to the most high profile events, but they won, had fun and the bar was pretty high for the behavior expected from players and coaches. No kid "needs" somebody yelling profanity at them.

I always told my son, "If you're allowed to act like a jerk now, you'll still be a jerk long after you're finished playing baseball but nobody will put up with it." We kept him with coaches who reinforced that. If a parent does otherwise, they'll have to live with how their kid turns out. My son isn't playing anymore, but what he learned is still with him. He's not a perfect gentleman all the time, but he could be a lot worse.

 

agreed.......

and the sad VERY sad part about it all AND BELIEVE ME it is rampant are the tons and tons of coaches out their that are so power and win thirsty expletives and attacks are the norm... NOT to take away from the many many fine upstanding quality coaches that are out there doing a fantastic job the RIGHT WAY winning and losing..... KUDOS to them as always! :applause: :applause: :applause:

 

I've got a slightly different take on this thread. And to be frank, I also don't think I would have known better 5-10 years ago. BUT, if we are talking about 11 yr olds, it's a really crazy topic!

"getting them ready for high school ball" :scared2: Not long ago I did a check on the "prospects" of a 12 yr old LL AllStar's chances of being on the roster of his HS team his senior year. Unscientific of course, but it was like 3 or 4 out of 12 or 13... something less than a 1/3 chance of being on the roster (in a major metropolitan area)!

Only with the experiences of having been through this cycle several times now, I'd offer that we should be encouraging the kid(s) to have fun! Play rec. Play LL. Play other sports! geez, they are 11!

Then, if they show an interest and self motivation in baseball, maybe once they get 13-14 and are playing on 90' bases, you could start considering more skills training so they can play more competetively at the MS or JrHigh level... not HS!

 

Thanks for all the input!

ATLWood-I think the only thing I was trying to say was that It was an easy decision for us going with a team who will try to develop the kids instead of winning at all cost. If the kids are not learning and having fun the chances of making their high school teams are slim! In my opinion LL and Rec ball is for having fun. Travel ball is just the next level up.

"O"-this being our second time around in this great sport-I agree there are more
win at all cost coachs than not. We were blessed with our older son playing for a really good coach during his AAU years. He did not have a kid on the team and did not have agenda other than teaching the game of Baseball! He now coachs at the high school level and is teaching his love for the game to more kids.

Gatorfan-I like that "If you're allowed to act like a jerk now, you'll still be a jerk long after you're finished playing baseball but nobody will put up with it"

 

Are you speaking of Andy(Caroliner)? I was so impressed getting to know him

 

Caroliner did coach Ryan from 13-15 years old!

 

Hey there everyone, its been a little while so I figured that I would take a quick study break to throw in a quick reply.

There is no doubt in my mind that for an 11-12 year old, he should be playing somewhere that is fun and developmental. By no means should a player at this age be exposed to profanity.

In regards to winning vs. development. Who remembers the 1995 Dixie Youth State Champions. My team was in the tournament and I couldn't even tell you who won it. I can however tell you that I played on a team in 1996 that was runner-up in the district tournament to a very talented team from West Stanley. From that team that didn't even win district, there was a player who now plays at Clemson, UNCA, Campell. Elon, UNCG and UNC. That was one of the most fun summers that I ever had, but I will never forget how hard we worked and were pushed by our coaches. Our team motto was "Never, Never Surrender". We were taught that if we were backed in a corner with things not going our way, how to come out fighting. This is a lesson that I never had a complete comprehension for until my freshman year of college. My point is, one should surround themselves and their young ballplayers around coaches who have a passion for the game, a passion to teach (both baseball and life skills) and who are leaders. These three things will prepare an 11-12 year old, but MOST IMPORTANTLY will allow them to have fun.

I was fifteen when I was first "cussed out" by a coach. I remember vividly. I could tell you the game, the school we were playing at, the temperature, the spot beside the field. I had allowed myself to be intimidated by a more "well-known" team that was bigger and had "Big League" uniforms. I was in shock. I did not know how to handle this being directed towards me. I had had similar things said to me by my friends, and people who were not my friends, but never by an adult, much less a coach. Looking back on that day and the many other days that I was "chewed out" by this coach I say to myself how thankful I am to have been faced with that adversity. Not the fact that I was getting cussed out, but how I was getting cussed out. 95% of the time I deserved it and because of it, I became a tougher individual who now will not back down against an opponent, and have the ability to absorb the purpose of being "chewed out" without even noticing the tone/language being directed towards me. Since that day, the number of times that I got chewed out decreased dramatically, however the times that I did, I learned more than I ever would have had I had a coach who "babied" me or "held my hand". I recognize that not everyone is ready to have their hand let go at 15, but that there are some who are ready long before it. My point is, profanity from a coach may not be a bad thing at all in the long run, as long as it is justified and not so over-used towards a player to a point where the player allows everything the coach says to pass through one ear and out the other, as opposed to absorbing the true point.

I realize that this post may be somewhat of a run on, but I hope that those who read it understand what I am trying to say. Ill try and check back frequently and if there are any questions or disagreements, I will be more than happy to reply.

To NC-Dad, I hope that youre son has a blast and that he develops a great deal throughout the year.