A question for coaches and parents

This is a hypothetical situation, but as I'm getting to know more college players personally, I find this happening more than I imagined.

The situation: Your son or former player comes to you and says, "I'm tired of baseball. I don't enjoy the practices and all of the things you have to do in college. I just want to be a student".

Now, your son/player is a very talented player. What would you say? and would you honestly support his decision? Keep in mind that your son/player is an adult (or has at least matured since HS)....or would you chalk it up to a "poor decision" and time to teach another life lesson.

Honest answers are welcomed!

Edit- by the grace of god this hasn't happened to me, but you wonder how you would handle it if it happened to you

 

Braves, that is a tough one. I haven't had to face it but hopefully I would be parent/ex-coach enough to support him in his decision, BUT not before I strongly encouraged him to take some time, maybe even take a short break from the game to see if he misses it, and to think long and hard about it, and make sure that is what he really really wanted (and was not a spur of the moment thing and/or a decision made in anger or made during a mentally down time period) because taking that path would most likely be the end of his playing days as it would be a decision that would be very hard to reverse if he changed his mind in a few weeks/months.

 

Lets say, he is convinced he is right and after talking to him, you are convinced he is making a mistake.

I changed this scenario because ideally a parent/coach want to support his decision..."he's his own man and needs to make his own decisions"...but...its not that easy.

 

walking away

The hardest thing I ever did in college was walk away from basketball, but it was also the best thing. I got married, started a family a few years later and never looked back. My father hated me for walking away from my it after 3 years in college, but he has almost forgiven me after 21 years. As a parent, our workdays are usually 8 hours, as a college student/athlete, it is about double that. Get up in the morning run and lift, go to class, go to practice, go to study hall. If your heart isn't in it, you are wasting your time, and your coach and teammates time.

I know it would be hard on me watching my son give up something that he is good at, but it is his decision and like it or not, I love him and respect him and he will have to live with the consequences good or bad. We spend a life raising our kids, eventually we must trust that we did a good enough job that the life changing decisions they make are hopefully the best choice.

 

Thanks for sharing your experience, Kevin. That was great!!!

I believe your relationship with your dad, although unfortunate at the time, would not be the only case.

 

Just so you know.....

I now work for my father, and have for about 15 years, but he never lets me forget. We have a great relationship now and he continually lets my son know that I threw away my career, don't let it happen to him. My father also walked away from minor league baseball after 2 years. Not enough money to support him and my mom with a child on the way. (I fouled up twice.LOL) I think he always hated that he had to give it up, but he wound up being very successful. I should have added this above, as I left it, I made it sound like we have a terrible relationship, quite the contrary, he would do anything for me or my family at anytime with no concern for himself. I owe everything that I am and have to my father and mother.

 

Braves....this is a tough one.

We faced a similar situation with Ryan going Pro versus College. Ryan made up his mind what he wanted to do (although Mom and Dad didn't necessarily agree at the time). We talked about it long and hard as a family and agreed it was his life and his decision and we supported and stood behind that.

I can honestly say after going through that if he wanted to walk away from the game I wouldn't like it and would do everything to try and talk him out of it....but in the end I would support his decision.

I think a lot of the time we as parents (if we want to admit it or not) get caught up in trying to live what we missed out on through our kids....we lose sight of the fact this might not be what they are loooking for anymore and like it or not it is their life and not ours.

Just as most of us have....our kids will have to learn from their mistakes. I know I sound like I'm preaching here but all we can do is try and give them the benefit of our wisdom / past experiences and point them in the right direction.

 

I appreciate everyone's honesty. That's what makes this board so great.

..and Kevin, I can not express how glad I am that you and your dad have such a great relationship. He did his job (as a father)...and apparently did it well.

 

Hello from Down East

Glad to finally join this great board. I have enjoyed all of the threads and look forward to being able to discuss baseball in general and also information from the eastern part of the state. Thanks.

 

Stretchlon....welcome aboard. We can always use another voice from the Eastern part of the state.