Being a Parent...

I have read hundreds of posts on TBR. I have posted a lot of posts!
One thing that I constantly read in posts is "let your kid grow up"!
Well I just have to say a few things regarding that statement.
Letting my kid grow up to me, does not involve me letting my kid join a travel ball team and a short time later, allowing my kid to travel away from home, with people I nor she, barely knows! That is a perfect example of "just asking for trouble"! IMO Would I let my kid go away with someone like Abbey Fan for example? Yes, because I have known him for a long time and he has earned my TRUST, in more ways than one! Did I allow my kid to travel to tournaments with other coaches? Yes, once I had gotten to know that coach and they had proven that they had my kids best interest at heart, once I felt I could TRUST them! Trust is a very important quality!! With me, you have to earn it! There have been few, that I have trusted enough, for this to happen with! But then the number of coaches that have coached my kid, is relativly small! She didn't change teams a lot! As she got older, then it happened a little more often!
That is just one example of what I'm talking about in this thread! It almost seems, in some posts, that you are encouraging people to limit their parenting! Support in all aspects of a kid's life, is and should be, a part of the job of parenting a kid. I don't think that just because a kid turns 18 that the parenting stops! A kid should FOREVER be able to come to a parent, with ANY situation, that they feel they need help with/in.
Now I am not aying to BABY, PASSIFY, CAUDLE a kid! Part of life and growing up is making your own decisions and learning how to handle the consquences of that decision! If you never make mistakes, then you never learn! Part of growing up is learning how to take constructive criticism! Part of gowing up is learning that you have to rely on yourself, first and foremost! But that doesn't mean that there isn't a support system that you can always rely on for help!
If you felt that a coach was being completely unfair, unjust or mean to your kid, would you just sit back and say nothing, not get involved? (HS level and above) Would you allow this behavior to go on? If so, what message does that send to your kid?
I personally never want my kid to ever think that there is ANY SITUATION that they can't come to me with and receive help! I may not always take the kid's side! There are times when I don't agree with my kid's side of a situation and I tell her so! But regardless we as parents are ALWAYS there to offer support and guidence, no matter what! In every aspect of our kid's life, for now and ALWAYS!
I would really like to hear some of your replies to this thread, not hate filled rants! Not BASHING remarks but sincere/mature, opinions on this thread!

 

Agreed!

We have always told our girls that there is NOTHING they cannot come to or talk to us about. We don't care how old they are or what situation they are in, we are ALWAYS going to be here for them! Their safety and well being is first and foremost period.

Like you said, they may be embarrassed about it and may not like our response (we don't caudle) but we will do whatever we can for them.

 

Agree 100%

We read a lot about overzealous parents. Some folks tend to zero in on getting their kids involved with winning programs. One thing that I pay attention to is player development and loyalty. Teams and coaches always ask that everyone put the team first. I think most people agree with that as a fundamental thing. However, I see a lot of these teams "use" kids for lack of a better term.

For example, in my area the travel team that most would consider to be the best was guilty of this recently. They had an extremely solid catcher who was loyal and good enough to be their #1 catcher for two seasons. When the assistant coach's daughter decided she wanted to focus on catching, the two year starter was shoved aside. The former #1 only got to DH and play some OF now and then. This caused discord within the team. They had significant turn over during the fall and will have 5 new players. They lost not only the former #1 catcher, but also their #1 pitcher, their SS and their 2B. The team will still be extremely strong this year. They quickly filled their holes with other above average players. The team's winning reputation easily attracted players. So, people that don't play close attention to this type of thing won't notice much change. But, those of us that have worked with some of these kids when they were younger do notice it. My advice to anyone that has considered this program is to look at the turnover of quality players. Be careful in choosing a team for your daughter. Too many teams focus strictly on winning and not on any sort of loyalty to the kids.

So, back to your original point. You do have to look out for your kid. Find teams/programs with coaches that truly care about the kids both on and off the field.

 

Quite familar...

There are a lot of us that are quite familar with the Assistant Caoche's kid wants to play a position delimma!! Been there, been a victim! It is a creek that feeds from same river as "Daddy Ball"!