Debates: Freshman Teams, Parents in sports, Iredell County

Are Parents ruining HS sports ?

I saw this on another website and found the replies interesting. I love this picture

 

Are parents ruining HS sports?

I certainly hope not, but sometimes it seems like it. I think that every HS has at least 1 over bearing parent that needs to be barred from the games. Usually for their own kid's sake. It must be a curse of some kind, 'cause I can remember them being around when I was in HS. ('66-'70)
I try to just stay out of it these days. I coached or helped coach my son from Tee-ball through middle school and to tell you the truth I enjoy the games much more now. I get to watch him play now instead of having to watch everybody. Don't get me wrong because I loved being with the kids but coaching takes a lot of time (if it's done right) and some times it just isn't worth the head aches and hassles. (mostly parents)

 

That's why I try to sit away from the other parents at hs games, or pick one or two guys who want to talk "strategy" instead of bashing coaches, players or other parents. Heaven forbid I ever have to sit around my wife or the rest of the gaggle!

As mentioned on another post, go watch a t-ball game (from your car so you can't hear the parents) and see what really gets your heart pumping.

 

I think the problem comes from recreational sports (9-10), (11-12),(13-15), when a player is not required to "try-out", but makes a team because he(she) or his (her) parents just sign up for whichever sport is in season at their county rec dept.... don't get me wrong these are important for all our children; but rules say that if a player shows up for a game; that player must play 1 inning in the field, or have 1 at bat...there is nothing wrong with these rules for rec. sports. Each player is not at the same level...some are more advanced...

i always give and have each parent sign a set of rules call: "Parents: Let The Coaches Do Their Job", I explain practice, coaches desicions in front of players, paying attention to players safety, respect for other athletes; and if they have the time to coach, do it..these rules are used by Patrick J. Concannon..

i think maybe parents fail to realize that hs coaches must evaluate players abilities in a short amount of time..and perhaps they don't understand what a "role player" is...

this is going to open a can..............

 

I thought this would be a good thread for my first post!!

This looks like a great forum . . . .glad I missed all the excitement of re-registering.

IMO - Parents are much more destructive in the younger age groups. Usually by the time the kids get to HS the interest of the parents has wained. As a coach, I found significant difference in parental involvement in ages 8 to 12 than in ages 14 to 16. Of course, there are always exceptions.

I believe some parents assume that since the MS/HS coach is not a volunteer, but a professional and thereby should be a better coach with only the team's best interest at heart. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Paid coaches are sometimes influenced or make mistakes. It is part of the challenges of being a professional.

My son played QB in HS. His first year the AD/HC told me that he would have started my son, but that the OC son was going to be the starter the next three years. His second year he started every game at QB (at the largest HS in NC) except for one - the HC son started that game. There are other more recent examples, but I was disappointed to see so much non-football influences at the HS level.

When my son was seven, he had played two years - one at QB - and I was 'too busy' coaching men's football (and other stuff) to coach that age. There was a lot of parental involvement at this age group and one day late in the year, when it was freezing cold, I came to this practice late. When I arrived, all the parents were watching me - so I knew something was up. My son was playing DE and the coach was trying to get the FB to block the DE. They kept running the same play over and over, with the coach yelling and screaming. It was bitterly cold and my son was sobbing, but was not letting the FB block him. What the coach was doing was wrong, especially at that age. But I didn't interfere. Finally, one of the asst. coaches did and stopped what was going on. He never coached again that year. That incident probably helped my son become as tough a player as he was, but it was still wrong.

BTW, The HC's son played FB (no talent) and the Asst. coach son played QB (he did ok).

My son was the fastest player on the team that year, but played defensive line. He ran the ball four times in preseason and scored three - never ran again. HC told me he was a three yards and a cloud of dust coach, he didn't like breakaway runners.

But as a parent, I did not get involved that year. I have coached kids every year since.

Once, when I was coaching 11-13 year-olds, a dad claimed he saw a player hit his son after the whistle in practice. He got out of his truck, ran onto the practice field at East Meck and jumped the player and sat on top of him banging his head against the ground. That is the most extreme I have ever witnessed. We pulled him off and banned him from practices and games. I wanted to call the police and press charges, but the parents of the attacked boy didn't care. I've also had a parent hit me in the chin when I didn't substitute his son the way he wanted me to. I did call the police, but later dropped the charges. This parent later became one of my biggest supporters and the attack had more to do with personal problems at home rather than on the field.

BTW, I also distributed lists of rules and parental 'Ten Commandments" and had parents meetings, etc. But you still run into those that can be unreasonable. One lady who was very severe in her attacks on me for not playing her son at RB his first year at age 8 still calls me every year to see where I'm coaching - she now wants her son to play for me wherever I'm at - if possible.

And lastly, a little off the subject, but I was appalled to hear the name of one of my former players in the news for kidnapping and robbery last week. He played on my 12 year old team (Football & baseball) and was going to play on my 13 year-old football team. He came from a rough background, but was a good kid and would have been my starting QB. Unfortunately, he missed the POP Warner certification and the commissioner refused to allow a makeup at that age group. All the other age groups had makeups, but he didn't feel they had time to let him attend another age groups makeup to be certified. The boy came to most of the practices for about half the season, but never played organized sports again. I don't know what difference it would have made in his life to keep involved in sports, but it might have helped him make better decisions. He was one who's parents were NEVER involved . . .




Whew!! I think that's enough for a first post.
:anon:

 

Great post FBGuru !!

I think we all have witnessed or been involved in a parent/coach
"debate". They are not fun, but if handle right, like apparently you did, many times the outcome can be positive.

I tell ya, I admire all coaches. The fact that they sacrifice their time for whatever reason to coach kids is wonderful. We have all experienced Daddy ball, but the point remains that Daddy is still sacrificing his time.

Even at the older ages you still witness position and playing time politics. I don't think that will ever go away, but there is one bone to pick for coaches who coach younger kids. Quit living your dreams through your child. Avoid the mentality of winning at all costs and teach them fundamentals There is no place for " burying a kid".

Sometimes I wonder how many kids lost interest in sports after being placed with unnecessary expectations from their Dad.

 

Amen Braves.

The worse thing a parent can do to a child is push them when they are young. I have been coaching competitive swimming professionally for 20 years and have seen literally hundreds of promising young swimmers learn to hate the sport because of pressure parents put on them.

Whenever I see it I imediately back off of the kid in my coaching of them. I then have to assume the support role the parent should be taking. It is difficult to do but can salvage a career.

This looks like a good forum. I am a newbe to the board but look forward to some good conversation. I might even take in a baseball game or 2 once I learn a little here. Who are the good teams in Winston-Salem?

 

Rob:

With quality posts like that one, it's great to have you on the board! As you can probably tell, many of us are "refugees" from the Charlotte.com high school baseball board.

While I know that the Triad has some great baseball, generally, I don't feel qualified to comment specifically. However, if you'll check out the attached thread, I think it might help:
http://www.hsbaseballweb.com/6/ubb.x?a=tpc&s=5316041581&f=1106002781&m=9136067791

 

I had very few problems with parents back in the day cause I was up front with them from the start. Now I did have some complainers cause you cant please everybody all the time. I taught blocking and tackling EVERY DAY, EVERY PRACTICE. We won alot and I see people out and about in my hometown that either played for me or their children did. But...I've seen the other side of the story as well. People want capable coaching at the HS level (thread topic). They have high hopes for their kids, some unrealistic, some not. They have invested time and money through AAU, USSSA and JO sports, sometimes having outstanding coaching along the way. Then they may end up disappointed at the HS level if the coaching (or decisions) arent what they're used to. Its almost a step down in some cases. You see this alot in Baseball. The competition is fierce, the pressure is high, people explode. We as a society have created this, in a way, in our zeal to excel to the next level. I love the cartoon at the top...it expresses the MOST important viewpoint of all.

 

Well said....great post Tank