Hard Day

I told my team last night that I wouldn't be returning next season. My dd and son are 10 and 7 respectively. I spend so much time at the field (in and off season) that by the time I get home, I don't have enough energy to practice or throw with them. I feel like I spend too much time beating my head against the wall. No matter what I try to do, I can count on some parents convincing their dd that the way I teach it won't work. I only played Class A Men's Fastpitch for 15 years. I guess there's no way I could have learned much during that time. I'm tired of ADULTS talking about players behind their back. It's just a festering wound. I started coaching this team 4 years ago because fast pitch softball is the greatest game I have ever played. I didn't realize how big the blinders are on some parents. I decided if I was going to invest time, energy, and emotion, then I would do it on MY CHILDREN. I have enjoyed reading and posting on TBR. It is a great site. Even though I have not knowingly met anyone here, I feel like I've known you for a while. I believe , with most of the posters here, if we ever met, we would be friends. I decided the best way for me to stay around this game would be to go back to Umpiring. At least that way I show up at the field EXPECTING to make a few people mad. I'm sure I'll still check in once in a while. I wish all of you the best.

 

Sorry to hear that jester. Unfortuntely, that kind of stuff comes with the teritory. Trust me, you are not alone. The thing to remember is that you are doing it for the girls not for their parents. Even if there are some parents and/or girls that don't agree with what you are doing/teaching, keep in mind that there are many others that do! You are not only teaching them the sport, you are teaching them the love for the game, respect for their teammates, and a hundred other lessons that they will carry with them for ever.

 

You didn't choose it, it chose you...

Reading your story hits home........

The game is exactly as you describe it....
The greatest...... it's in your blood....it's part of you....

I have this same talk with myself each year... why do I do it?
Why should I come back?.....

This is what I have come to understand....

We (Coaches) are not normal! · Remember what you've chosen to be
1. Criticized
2. Wrong
3. Stupid

Don't expect a regular life
1. Schedule vs Calendar
2. 9-5 forget it
3. If you have a family, it better be a sharing one

You have to be a Life Long student of the game
1. You will learn more than you teach
2. Get yourself a good teacher
3. Swallow your pride and learn to learn
4. Know when to shut up and listen
5. If you have all the answers - Go Home!

Let your players teach you
1. Watch and learn from your players
2. Listen, listen, listen
3. Learn from success and Failure
4. Retain experiences
5. What went wrong / What went right

Establish your own parameters · If you don't know " what's what", who will
1. Set the tone everyday
2. Be Organized; if your not, why should you expect your team to be.
3. Determine, Demand and Define what is ACCEPTABLE!

Respect what is Dangerous
1. Success
a. Will lead to complacency
b. It's a new game every day
2. The Game
a. Don't take it for granted
b. The "Game" is a bigger threat than the "Opponent"
c. Don't get caught "Looking around to see"
You can't see what's coming if you are looking over your shoulder
d. You're never gonna be a "crowd pleaser"

Control the "controllable"
1. Control your administration
2. Parental Opinions
3. Your Opponents

If it ain't Fun, it ain't worth doing! If you don't love what you do - get out
1. Why be a prisoner?
2. You must bring passion to the park everyday
3. Don't tell anyone, but it's just a game!

Never do it for the money!
1. We're softball coaches, we're not going to get rich!
2. A stipend is not a source of passion

Players need fun
1. Don't make them prisoners
2. Instill passion and respect
3. A happy player is a productive player

When you get down to it, we're a pretty good bunch

So the answer is simple... the game chose you... embrace it,
take satisfaction from the kids and parents that you do reach...
they are the one's that matter...

The game also chose them

 

I agree 100%. We have changed Shelby Softball without wins but have established a formula and a foundation!

 

I love when Charlie.........

......drops a bomb on us like the above post!!!!! Props brother, yous silver tongue devil yous!!! Look folks, giving time to the kids is important, period, Dealing with the backlash with class and grace is so cool! Many of yous guys out there in TBR are the very coaches that I'm talking about. Without yous guys, where would our kids be? THANKS COACHES! and UMPS!

 

Sorry you're leaving

Coach, we did'nt play this year(don't know why), but you were a regular on our schedule in the past. Just wanted to say I have seen a great deal of improvement in knowledge of the game, position play, hustle, and a big improvement to your facilities since you have been there. Always admired your love and knowledge of the game (it shows). Just bring that 10 year old on up to Roxboro and I will give you a job helping me. Good luck in your softball future.

 

Class 101.....

....by shot! His post is positive and to the point. Hey Shot, what a classy way of saying that you appreciate and fully respect someone and their contribution to THE game! Very nice indeed! fishman!

 

Perspective

During a rain delay a couple weeks ago, I was talking to one of the girls on the opposing team that I had coached several years back in 10U TB. Out of the blue she says 'I still remember what you told me to do when I need to relax.' I was blown away! This girl was 8 years old at the time and to have her tell me that she still remembers and uses something I taught her years before was the best feeling in the world. Very powerful stuff that puts it all in perspective and makes it all worth it.

 

I hate reading this....and some people wonder why there is not an abundance of outstanding HS coaches. It just wears you down. A coach sacrifices their time away from their family because they want to share their experience with those that need it. They are willing to do so because they have a passion for the sport and a passion to teach.

There are no other teachers in High School that are subjected to the interference a HS sports coach endures. Having to deal with complaints to administrators, second guessing, questioning their character and having to defend their decisions about playing time and correcting behavior....it just wears you out.

When you finally have time to take a deep breath and examine your priorities, many fine coaches realize that the sacrifices they have made with their families no longer balances the rewards they received from coaching.

Unfortunately, the scenario Jester described is happening all to frequently as each year passes. I'll let you draw your own conclusions to why.