How do you know when enough is enough?

So, I have been plagued by this question of late: How do you know when enough is enough for your daughter when she just wants to keep going, going and going? At what point do you, as a parent, say "It's getting to be too much" and draw the line?

I am curious what the coaches and parents here think on this matter...And I am very curious about how the players on this board feel about the subject.

My dd is 15 yo and a freshman at a 3A school. Since February of 2006, she has taken 1 month - total - off from training for softball, practicing with teams, and actual playing. This past year she played for her middle school team, overlapped both recreation and travel softball with school ball for a month, played travel throughout the summer, overlapped rec ball with travel ball Aug - November and then, when her team was done for the year, played pick up with other teams just so she could keep going. Add to this fall and winter work outs for school and running cross country to stay in condition, and here it is January and after a mere week without training, we are back in full force, practicing with our travel team and with school practices/tryouts a mere 2 weeks away.

This spring, my dd will play upwards of 2 dozen games with her school team, combined with M-F practices, some Saturdays, when games are not scheduled against practices and she will practice with her travel team on the weekend, plus start playing in tournaments come March. She is scheduled for a camp at the start of February, and has 3 week long camps on her own, personal agenda for this summer. To boot, she would like me to find her a hitting coach, to work on more power in her swing.

As a parent, I look to my child to determine what is enough. But when our coach pointed out to me that if she keeps going at this pace she will most likely burn out and walk away from softball forever, it gave me enough pause to spend the bulk of last night trying to determine if I am recognizing when enough is enough. My daughter loves this game, and has planned most of her life around it - from playing in college to later coaching the sport. When she is not on the field practicing or in a facility training, she is the kid out back, with the tee, hitting balls in the pouring down rain.

So I ask the coaches and parents out there - When is enough, enough and how do you, as the parent, know that the enough line has been reached?

As a player I ask you, how do you know when enough is enough for yourself, personally?

Thanks for the input!

 

If your daughter's HS team is a conference contender you should absolutely prohibit mixing TB with the HS season. In most HS conferences, winning a season championship often hinges on winning every conference game during the season. One slip from March to May and there's no second chance. Players need weekend rest. Its physically impossible to practice/play 7 days a week and do it to your fullest potential. The human body breaks down without appropriate rest. It's a well known fact that risk of injury increases dramatically when an athlete pushes it too hard without time for rest and recovery. Its not fair to her school team for her to play at less than 100% because of fatigue, or suffer an avoidable injury. The same holds true for her TB team. Does she want a college coach to observe her performing at less than 100%?

Its great that your daughter is enthusiastic about playing the game, but teenagers need good guidance and some limits from you as well as from all her coaches.

 

This is a sticky one...

You have to know your DD and read her to know when enough is enough! You have to have open communication with your teen and discuss these issues with your DD. Encourage her to do activities outside of the sport as well. Go to the mall with some friends for awhile, go to a sleepover with friends, go to a movie, go to school dances, or be involved in some clubs at school! Make sure she has friends outside of the softball world too.
Being dedicated to a sport, I don't think is a bad thing! My DD is a pitcher and that means practicing all year round. I don't know that she had much of a break from softball from the time she was 12 thru HS! With pitching lessons, HS ball, Tb practices and games! She is a freshman in college now and having, at the minimum 4 workouts (6 am workouts, team pratice, pitching practice, hitting or personal training time) a day in addition to college classes, shew I'm tired just typing about it!!! LOL! Our DD did play TB during HS ball some, but a very limited schedule during HS ball. All the practicing can only make a player better. The deication will pay off. Make sure the classroom is not suffering, in any way, without the academics that college dream thing will be hard.
So I guess I say, as long as you are plugged in as a parent and you have open communication with your DD and you encourage a balance in her life, then let her be dedicated to what she loves. If you try to take it away from her she may rebel and that is not what you want! JMO hope it helps some!

 

Easy first step

Get rid of the rec ball. 2x week practice, plus 2 games week, can easily free up 10-12 hours. They don't get much out of rec ball anyway at that age... Keep the school ball (they all want to represent their school colors) and the travel ball (competition is so much better) and get the hitting coach, if a good one is close and available.

 

John, Agreed

Enjoy her devotion. But rec ball may take away from her instead of building her skills. Having a softball possessed DD myself I can speak from experience that her obsession will subside somewhat as she grows a little older. I too worried(and still do) about the burn out factor. Sometimes if she hears the same concerns from someone other than yourself this may help but not to the point of what you or I would consider normal. This is a good problem to have but still a concern non the less. Not long ago my DD broke my pinky toe while taking BP and as I regained conciousness from my pain and attemped to stand again she replied "your not going to quit on me are you? Just one more bucket of balls." So I feel for you brother. I live in the same area as you and know a great hitting coach that does a good job of explaining how taking time off for periods will actually benefit her softball game. PM me if you want info. I hope this helps, good luck!

 

If you prohibit travel ball during the high school season, where does it stop? Do you prohibit going to the lake, skiing, 4 wheeling, swimming, sleepovers where they stay up all night? At least travel ball helps make them stronger for school ball. I have never understood this rule.

 

Yes, TB does make for stronger, better, players, but TB also offers more opportunites for injury, schedule conflicts, etc... These are issues that a HS coach has to take into consideration. The HS team has to make sure to protect their season as well. Example: a lot of HS teams only have 1 strong and maybe 1 backup pitcher. So if that 1 strong pitcher, goes and plays a tournament all weekend, pitches in, we'll say, 6 games, that puts additional stress on that pitching arm, additional opportunities for injury, just in general adds to the physical tiredness of the athlete! Just saying there are reasons for this issue to come into play!

 

We had this happen to our high school pitcher last year. She threw too much in a tournament because her tb team didn't have another pitcher to help out. Her mom felt that tb was her 1st priority, not school ball. I know that's another can of worms, but I also feel travel ball will help my daughter more than school ball. ***keep in mind our high school is not as competitive as some others, we are lucky to have 3 or so tb players. Our new coach incourages tb and will let players leave early to attend tb practice.****

 

I think your coach is smart. He/She obviously knows someone else has done the work and handed them good players on a silver platter. I do understand the part about pitchers though and I think many travel team coaches would be willing to work with their high schools regarding pitching. Why punish all players though. Travel ball is helping high school ball be stronger. I also feel travel ball is where the opportunities are as most of us around here just hold our breath until high school ball is over so we can start playing some real softball. I would be curious to see how many girls have had to sit out part or all of their high school softball season due to injures received in high school basketball. Basketball, that is what should be prohibited.

 

I am confused, I thought all of it was real softball. I have been blessed to see all of it. I really consider it all to be real. From tee ball, Coach pitch, Real pitcher,travel, school and so on. Because everyone pretty much cares. They all might not know as much as the other but the bats, gloves, balls, coaches, players and everyone else feel it is all real. I have never nor will I ever understand why some us pick to separate all of it. We are taught early to be team players. Or am I wrong in saying that, that is not real either.