How does a player talk to a coach about playing time?

Any great ideas?

 

Be straight, honest, and respectful. Ask respectfully and listen to what your coach has to say. Make sure you talk to him face to face and not through a text message.

 

LIKE AN ADULT.

and don't go in and say "why am I not playing?" don't talk about other players and their abilities or compare yourself to others. the focus should be on what you need to do to get better in order to help the team and the player should be ready and able to accept constructive criticism without getting their feelings hurt

it doesn't need to be tricky, just an honest conversation between 2 people (read PLAYER and COACH, NOT parents) who want the best for the TEAM.

 

Outstanding advice!

 

I would also add that I always appreciated it when a player asked what he could do to get better and get more opportunities....

The question "why am i not playing?" sends a negative tone from the beginning. "what can I do do to improve?" sends a message that the player wants to get better and contribute.

This is something that could blow up and cause heartache if not handled in a positive manner and could anyway... especially when parents who haven't been to a day of practice get involved. When parents are in parent mode, they do anything to protect their child, which means they put blinders on, and don't even realize it when they do. Because of this, a parent cannot be objective towards their child...

just my 2 cents worth...

 

Good job, Coach.....one who knows!

 

question for you Braves and Coach Evans. i'm always curious how others do things. how much do actually spend listening to a parent?

we have a policy that if we hear from a parent before the player comes to talk to us, then the player is automatically suspended for the next 2 games. we try to empower these young men to act like, well, young men. if they come and speak to us and still aren't satisfied then we, as a coaching staff, will meet with the player and the parent.

as you said, it's very hard for parents to be objective about their kids. and that's what makes our job difficult at times. many parents want to bring up shortcomings of other players rather than hearing about those of their own son. that is where we draw the line.

again, just interested in y'alls opinions.

 

It's a completely different era of coaching now than it was when I coached. I rarely had parents involved. Every now and then playing time issues my have been brought up, but never in an aggressive way--pointing out teammates problems.

However, I loved to hear from parents. I would find out more about the kid's off field activities or at home. I truly felt I was the parent of the player on my team and the more I knew of them, the better I could motivate. One thing that has never changed, if a player believes you care, then they will give you their best.

But getting back to parents. Showcase baseball is one avenue that has given parents the rose colored glasses. An example: My son went 2-4 against Benton Moss in a particular tournament and Benton is on his way to UNC. If my son got 2 hits off Benton, then he should at least be able to play at a mid major D1 school. However, the HS coach only bats him 6th in the lineup. That's disgraceful because it sends the wrong signal to the college coach. If my son only bats 6th on his HS team, what would a college coach think? Besides, my son is a better hitter than the player batting 1-5.

That's just one of many problems a current HS coach faces. And what it does is forces many HS coaches to remain distant to most parents. They don't want to encourage a dialogue that could lead to trouble.

I believe most coaches do a great job in starting the year with a parent meeting and having parents sign the rules and consequences of a player's actions. But we all know that some parents missed that line that states "no discussions about playing time."

However, we are talking about 15-17 yo kids. Although you try to teach them to mature, they don't always follow the plan. As long as we aren't discussing playing time and a parent doesn't ask for an immediate conference right after a game, I would schedule it. It can be a great time to educate the parent, too.

The bottom line for me is I know that parents love their kids and they wish to see him succeed. I remind them I want him to be successful too, and that I believe he will or I wouldn't have chosen him to be on my team. Most of the parents are great and want to help the program.

I don't know if my reply helped because it appears you have everything under control. But HS coaching is not for the thin-skin. I'm too old to be that patient.

 

Anyone who has ever coached at any level has had to deal with parents, and parents are for the most part always the same. As someone said when that "parent mode" kicks in, the parent will always defend Little Johnny and sometimes parents are just not reasonable.

Heres 2 things we all know about parents, 1) all parents want Little Johnny to play and not sit the bench,,, and 2) if Little Johnny isn't playing the parent simply wants to know why, thats all, some actually understand and accept it.

Bottomline, I would advise all young coaches to understand parents and deal with it, and not ignore it. And the way you deal with it, is simply YOU EARN RESPECT. Be firm but fair, be consistent, knowledgable in your craft and yes be approachable. No matter whether we're talking about coaching a HS baseball team or being the nightshift manager at Joe's Poolhall,,, when your people (players and parents) respect you, they are not as likely to question you. Heck, theres many of you on here like CoachEvans that I've never met, but I respect you simply because of your so many knowledgable posts on the subject of baseball. If you don't have respect, you will have questions, bottomline. Just my 2 cent.

 

Over the years I believe I have changed how I handle parent issues. When I began coaching, I refused to talk with parents and man how times have changed since then. School Administrators want you to talk with parents, to sit down with them and explain things to them. However, I always put more weight in a kid approaching me in the way stated earlier, and I can respect that, even when my evaluation differs from them. This being said, when parents get ugly, conversation over... If angry, wait 24 hours then approach me, never before or after a game. Usually when I was mad, I waited 24 hours to think things out and not let emotions rule the day. If you as a parent (not aimed at anyone) don't like my evaluation then little get better or go play at the Cross Town High School.

I do agree with what Braves referred to about htting a D-1 pitcher in a showcase tournament then thinking they can play d-1 baseball. MOst kids at the high school level do not have the tools or work ethic necessary to succeed not just at the D-1 level but high D-2 or 3. THe good thing is there are more and more opportunities to play beyond high school, look at the Community College teams popping up...

Opportunity is what you make of it, the opportunity to get better instead of whining and pouting in the dugout or in the stands as a parent. The opportunity to make the most of a moment when given the chance to prove your worth whether daily in practice or when finally given a chance to play in a game... Every player has a chance to earn their time each day in practice, you never know when it may be your last chance.....

One thing I have said and heard said from a pro scout, "If you dont agree with my evaluation, I hope you prove me wrong..."