Most Important Post Ever on TBR

Wow

Braves and all

Thanks for this - the most powerful thing I have read in a long time...ecu has a strength I do not think I could match.

Bonsway - seems like yesterday my son was playing on a little league field and a 200 foot fence seemed like a mile away. Now, they tower over us and I can't even wrestle with him and win anymore...I have seen Jack play and you will get to see him play for a good while longer.

Two more years of high school and hopefully a little more after that if we are lucky... enjoy it all as it will be gone in a flash.

My mom once told me one of the greatest gifts you can give your child is the strength to be independent when it is time for them to find their own way... I think this will be harder for me to do than for him as the time gets closer.

 

Do-over

I too was brought to tears with this post. I can only imagine what it must feel like to lose a child. I pushed my oldest son hard in sports, rec-sports.

I still cant believe how I pushed. I honestly feel I took the joy out of it for him. He stopped other sports but stayed with baseball. At one point both of my sons were in rec sports, and I was pushing both of them, never letting them enjoy their successes. when the oldest went to USSSA, I figured it was like pro sports, and I relaxed a little on #2 in rec. Still pushing my oldest.

Then the opportunity came before me to coach #2 on a USSSA new start up team. I actually enrolled him in a rec team in another county to scout players and prove my coaching ability in order to recruit. Yes, I scouted and recruited 9 year olds to form AA team. Boy the wasted time, I could have been enjoying my boys instead of trying to build a dynasty.

My oldest plays in college, but is considerring hanging them up in favor of studies. My youngest is playing in high school, and because of lessons learned, I am letting him enjoy it. It only happens once, don't ruin it for them. It is their turn, we had ours. I cold not be prouder of either one. My sports dream for them is to play until they want to quit, not because they are not wanted. My oldest acheived that goal, hopefully the youngest one will. You will see both of them on this board from time to time. The youngest is the Diamond Rat and posts under baseball alot.

 

There are no "do overs."

ECU78,

Thanks for the "grounding" post. I hear you. My prayers to you and yours.

I got into coaching like a lot of Dads and Moms. I thought I could help. I wanted to help them along. Keep their opportunities open I guess. I thought I saw some things that others where doing that I could improve upon.

I realized along the way I missed something. While coaching I had my eyes on other kids which took away from watching my kid. Though this was honorably selfless, I missed some things. "Dad did you see that catch I made?"

"No I was watching the runner from 3rd or 2nd" or whatever else the situation drew my attention. As a coach I had my priorities right but as a Dad I did not. While I think this, as a sacrifice was important, I perhaps selfishly, focused my attention away from him to others. I think he wishes that I would have had my attention elsewhere ie on him.

However I got to see him do some amazing things along the way. There are some great memories. I just wonder if I did the right thing. Thankefully I have mine here still so that I can see him still do some amazing things.

ECU78 you got it right.

 

So TRUE! I never thought I would be an "empty-nest" sufferor, but the closer it gets to when Jack and my youngest to leaving home, it really makes me upset. Time is going to damn fast and I KNOW that before I know it, they will be grown and gone. I am learning to enjoy each moment I share with them..trying to be better...that's all we can do.

btw...do I know you?

 

Silly question....he's PlayLaughLive:

 

Ohhhh....perhaps I should know...but...I still need I think...

 

ECU 78 post puts it all into perspective. My son has been doing travel baesball for 4 years now and some of the things I have seen Dads do their children makes you want to take a bat to their head. I have seen a Dad go out into LF and tend to his injured 9 yr son and have his son scream at his Dad because he wouldnt take him ouf the game. His Dad ended up smacking the kid in the face and knocking him to the ground. I saw a Dad get to his 11 yr son after a inning where his son made 3 errors. He was throwing him up against the dugout wall and screaming "Why, Why, Why. Why cant you do it like we did it in practice" ? At Cooperstown, their was a big kid from FL who was the team's Ace and threw close to 100 pitches the night before his team played ours. We had him at over a 100 pitches against us. His arm and shoulder were hurting and he kept rubbing it and finally started crying on the mound. The coach comes out and tells him to " man up, its the playoffs." You frequently hear "one more error out of you and I'm going to warm the car up and we're going home". Unbelievable! I could go on and on but this is the kind of pressure that is being put on many of the youngest kids by their Dads and Coaches.

My son pitched last w/e and he was having his worst outing of the year. Many balls were in the dirt. We were down. All the coaches were yelling to throw strikes. I finally yelled something to the same effect. We ended up winning the game and tournament. But when we got home, he says to me " I heard you yelling at me to throw strikes." He sarcastically says "what do you think I was trying to do? Its not like I was doing it on purpose."

I wish all Dads could read this post before signing their children up for any sport. Very humbling.

 

Aman

 

Happy Thanksgiving from a father of five! I have made some of the same mistakes. The people we make is much more important than the players we make.

 

It really makes you think when you read a story like ECU78's. We inadvertently miss many opportunities to make kids feel special. Not just your own kids, any kids. One seemingly insignificant little praise can be remembered a lifetime.