Organizational Allegiance

Abbey fan

You are so right, our smart, wonderful, beautiful young ladies need to continue to work hard, have fun and everything will take care of itself.
You know there is so much pressure on Student Athletes today to do good in school (so much homework)and to work hard at the sport they want to play in college, and the part of marketing yourself to college. And then there's the family life you still need at home with others. That said thats why its so important to keep the game fun as much as you can coaches.

 

This may be one of the best threads I have ever read. It's not only the topic, but the way people are responding. There is a lot of good advice offered in this thread that should help many people to at least think about what they are doing.

You know, it's kind of funny. Sometimes it takes the child to teach the adult. I remember telling a group of HS ballplayers how much I appreciated their sacrifice and commitment in playing ball. The fact that they gave up summer vacations and missed out on other things. Then one player raised his hand and said, paraphrasing " Coach, this is a game. This is how I have fun, but think of my options. If I didn't play sports, I might have hung out with some friends and got into trouble."....I was left speechless.

 

Rodney you are so right. the past few seasons we have been blessed with the best group of players and parents we have had in years No superstars and no head cases, just a bunch of kids that enjoy the game and each other work hard and play well. Add in our great group of parents and the last few seasons have been quite enjoyable to coach. The funny part is that it seems whenever one girl moves on to another team we get a player that left some other team that is at least as talented as the girl we lost. This season we actualy picked up a girl that left a team that one of our girls went to in the same week. Go figure.

 

I agree with you on things you said in your post! There are experiences that you just want to remove your DD from as fast as possible! Then there are certain situations that you would LOVE to remove your DD from but can't! For Example: where your DD goes to HS! Believe me, that can be the longest, most miserable, nightmarish 4 years of a DD's life! Not to mention the parents, when their DD hurts, so do they! Not everyone can just pick up and move, or afford private school or etc... It isn't like TB where you have a choice!
Just saying that I understand where you are coming from with your post!

 

Thank god we are happy with her school situation!! She has 5 years left (8th grade). Hopefully there aren't any coaching changes in her future!!

In travel ball we do have a choice. As long as my daughter is happy I will force myself to live with things I don't always agree with.

I do help coach and find myself reminding other coaches you have to treat travel ball players different than a school coach does.
In most cases kids aren't changing schools just because they are unhappy with a coach.

I have a friend that had a team out of my daughters age group. He invited a local private school coach to coach his team. The guy is a good coach but is very tough and girls don't really like his personality etc..

I watched one of their practices and I told him "don't forget travel girls have a choice where to play and they won't deal with the same things girls will in school ball".

In less than one month he lost his best two players and in less than three months he didn't have enough players for a team.

On my daughters team we have a coach that runs our practices and works the girls beyond what most would believe. The difference is that the girls know he really cares about them and wants to make them better. I don't think there is one player own our team that wouldn't go until they pass out for him.

If you are going to be tough on girls you better find a way for them to relate to you. If not you can watch them leave one by one.

 

Excellent point. I believe you will find that to be true in all sports.

 

Nicely said

I have lost a great friend over this past year because of how he treats his team(no names even if pm). At first, it was a team that wanted to continue to get better every week. He invited my DD to play with them at the World Series when our team folded and I thought he was sincere. He wanted players who were commited to him at all costs. My DD even quit volleyball this year because it would interfere with their schedule. He told the team one day at practice that he was always recruiting and he would get someone bigger, faster, stronger to play. I agree with motivating players, but to tell them you are always looking is bad! I thought it was a joke at first, but then he kept bringing in more and more players in every tournament after that. One tournament he had over 15 girls at the field. When I told him (friend for over 6 yrs) that we found another team that is closer to my DD's age, he quit speaking totally. At our last tournament, I went to see them play between our games and show support. My DD is still good friends with the girls on that team and she went as well. He didn't speak and walked away as if we did something wrong. I am not bashing him or what happened because I am grateful for the opportunity we now have.

But back to my point, my DD made the choice on this team and defends her coach and teammates even if I say something about baserunning or lineups, etc. I have tried my best all fall to stay out of what is going on unless asked to help. I will say that our new coach truly shows concern for our girls as well as grades. We drive two hours to get to practice and he will call to make sure her homework is done before we leave. She hurt her arm a while back and he calls multiple times a week to check on her, not to mention the other parents on the team calling or sending e mails to check on her. The team chemistry with this bunch is the best I have seen in all my years coaching. I asked him about a "weaker" player and he said we are only as strong as our weakest player, "looks like we need to step up a little more at practice" then laughed and told me everything will be fine. I have bought into his ideas and coaching methods and can see all of my faults. We didn't join this team based on wins and loses, but after a recommendation of a friend, watching them play a couple times, and trying them out at a couple tournaments. We have stayed through the hard loses, the three and outs, and other things. I feel like we are looking for a "four year plan" to get her through high school and college. She will go to college based on grades 1st, then if someone thinks she can "fit in", then we will cross that bridge as long as she improves every year. To comment on Abbey fan's post : This man has done everything in his power to help these ladies on and off the field. I have seen improvements in a lot of his players, parents, and coaches. He truly does care about the girls! THANKS!!!!

 

Agreed !!!

That is exactly what my DD and I agreed on from here on out...when she says enough it will be over,but until then we will play with the organization that we are with until the end....unless the coach drops her salary...LOL...Guru

 

Crazecoach: If a bit of time does not heal his hurt, he was no friend to begin with. He was more akin to a remora fish. He just hung around to get what he could from you and/or your DD. I have experienced a similar rift. After I continued to to show up at their games a few times and show genuine support, we began to speak and are still the friends we were previously. As you all know, in this TB thing as well as school ball, emotions usually run deep. Anything that upsets any even balance that we may have finally achieved can cause a lot of misunderstanding and doubt. Friendships will survive it. That is a lesson we could probably best learn from our DD's.

 

I agree time does fix some of this.

In my situation it took a year for things to settle down. Two years later I won't say all is forgotten but it is close.