What would you do?

I have to agree with Cheese...

Folks, I have to respect and agree with Cheese on this one! I have seen his HS team in action and he has seen mine. First of all, Cheese goes out of his way for ANY player wanting to get better. He spends countless hours for many players and works hard for them all. He is not selfish to ask his players to wait until after school ball is over. If someone's DD is not good enough to break the lineup, why have them quit? They can't learn what the HS coach expects out of them practicing somewhere else. We have to work together and quit pulling each other down. My DD played tournaments during school ball last year and unfortunatley hurt her arm during a tournament. It was not the TB coach's fault or the HS coach's fault either. That was a risk she took. It may not have cost us any games with our school team simply because we were not that good and did have multiple players to choose from. It did cost her multiple tournaments, practices, respect of her coaches and peers. This year we only have 15 girls on the team, many of which wouldn't make a first year 12u or 14u travel team. The HS coach has asked my DD to catch all year even though she plays other positions and won the starting spot during tryouts somewhere else. She told him yes "Whatever the TEAM needs". As a former coach and a father I have never been more proud! Sometimes, we as parents just need to step back, and let the girls decide what is best. My DD gets practice on the weekends for her TB team, but SHE decided to hold off on tournaments until after school. In the past, we put TB ahead of school ball and it cost her last year. This year, we have a chance at something special so she wants to wait. I would suggest to let your DD learn the system and continue school ball, Improve her skills, learn what it takes to be a "team player", then play TB after school is over. Honestly, there are not many older TB teams that have their players riding the pine for school, then starting every game for them. College coaches look down on players quitting school ball, just so you know.

 

Ok then let me ask this of you. If a girls gets hurt during HS season and isn't able to participate with her TB team in what you have referenced as "look at me" tournaments why is that ok? ...... Let me answer that for you. It's not ok! It's just a roll reversal and what ever benfits the coach at that point in time is what they will think is best. No HS coach has the right to tell anyone you can't participate other sporting events while playing for them. If you truely think this, well then all I can say, I am glad my kid dose not play for you!

Lets pose this question. One of your best players from your TB team plays for a different HS program. She gets hurt and is out until next year. You, as the coach of her TB team have planned to play in some in some "high profile tournaments" and now you are missing a key player. How fair is that to her team? Not very fair

 

You coaches can slice it up anyway you want, but to look down on a player for leaving a HS team when they can be out playing travel ball and getting better? That is crazy. Oh, and let our school system pass some rule to penalize when they try to come back next year. What genius thought that rule up? "It's for the girls?" The only way you all can justify it is to tell people college coaches frown upon players who leave a HS team, or try to make it look like a DD is not a team player? The operative word(s) I have tried to express on this thread since I started it are "to get better", so a DD CAN go back to help the team at a later time. No DD can get better riding the pine. So this is what coaches do, frown upon players who would not sit on their bench? What kind of a coach wants a player to be happy sitting on a bench? A team player? How long does it take a DD to learn a system? Give me a break. A player should be free to play and learn and get better anywhere they can without penalty, and double standard values. I think some of you have been smelling your own musk way to long.

 

Cheese - How did this get so far off track? I do not think anyone is saying SB ot TB is more important than the other as far as the DD's are concerned. I agree with you on many of our thoughts, memories and all that, but to hold a DD back from getting better no matter how they may want to try it and then penalize them for it because they did not do it a particluar HS or TB coaches way, but it is certainly alright to get a private instructor. I find that a little crazy. JMHO.

 

It appears that I have struck a nerve with you. Well sir, I will not apologize for stating my opinion for what I beleive to be true. No HS coach has the right to tell a student athelte that she can't play a school sport if she participates in another sport out of school. Do you realize that the school athletic programs are funded by tax payers? You can't discriminate against someone for this. Dear sir, if you believe that you have the right to tell someone that then you are certainly on a POWER trip!!!!!

 

Cheeze Great Points!

For those of you who want your DD to play all the time, Relax her time will come. Maybe not on your timetable but it will come. As a high school coach that has 9 of 11 TB players on the varsity I appreciate the TB coaches not playing until the hs season is over. Do they have to No, But out of respect for the game they do. They understand that school ball is important to school, maybe not to college but to the kids. The girls are proud to be in the program and represent the school. TB has alot of tournaments where college coaches can see them play and until the college season is over when are they coming anyway. Last week my DD had 11 games in 5 days before they went on a limited spring break. Do you think her coach cared who was playing tb?

The tb season does make you better! I want all my girls to play all the way through the fall because experience counts. But what about life lessons learned through team? Is it always positive? No but life isn't either and if parents run in a try and fix it everytime then no one wins. Enjoy the game and the time with your DD help her to grow and mature. Let her understand that she means more to you than playing time and that you are always there to support her. Support not replace or move till you find what you want.

My DD played in half of her college games as a freshman. Got mono this year and sat two weeks and has played in maybe 3 games since. I am not thrilled about it but you know what I am not the coach. She told me that they were winning as a team and as long as that continued she was happy to accept her role. Whatever that was. Even sitting the bench. If she likes the school and is getting an education why do I care?

Support the coach. Respect his/her rules and enjoy life more. Life is too short!!!

 

Go play where you want... just don't expect others to always see it your way. If the hs coach has a rule about not playing tb during the hs season it is his right to do so. It's his team to coach the way he sees fit to coach it, same as the tb coach with his/her team.

It sounds like there are some folks that are pretty nieve about exposure and recruiting. First, you won't find many college coaches recruiting during the spring... they are too busy coaching their own teams. Second, the odds are extremely long that DD will get recruited anyway. It would be sad if her only memories about softball were based on controversy and pressure.

 

Stitches,

Hindsight is 20/20 for everyone involved. I too, as a parent, want what we think is best for our DDs. It is very hard to stand by and watch them fall off of the bike.

It boils down to communication on the coach's part and the girl's part. I know that kids, by nature, are scarred to ask the coach (or any authority figure) questions. If the coach talked to each individual girl about what the coach envisioned that girl's role (expected playing time or positions) on the team for that year would be, then your DD would have more info to make a decision. If the coach didn't have that discussion, then the girl should ask.

Unfortunately, usually the only way that the girls learn about this is by what is happening with your DD. Some people have great comminucation skills and others not so great. Chalk this up as just one of many life lessons for your DD.

Again, good luck.