WHY IS THE SO CALLED "SOFTBALL FAMILY" SO DISFUNCTIONAL???

I'm not sure what I or my "blood kin family" would have done without softball. We have met and befriended many people who we would not have otherwise met. Some have come to be close friends.

In addition, when things don't go as expected and you are able to keep everything in perspective, this builds character....something that I am glad my kid(s) have.

Persoanlly...even with the lumps and bumps, I wouldn't trade our softball experiences for anything.

 

Thank you for your replies!

I knew everyone would have a comment on this one! This post has nothing to do with me crying over peed on cornflakes! You are right this is life and if you don't see anything wrong with that statement then you are just another link in a chain of wrong. Wouldn't it be nice if the world was a NICE place? Okay so reality shows that this will never happen, but one can HOPE! I just wondered if anyone out there ever saw anything wrong with the game!!!
I really do think that a team can treat each other with respect and friendship. I do think a coach can treat players with respect! I do think that people can actually be nice to other peoples faces and behind their backs. I do think that parents can teach their young to have respect for others. I have not lost HOPE in mankind!!! But the fact that everyone wants to jump on the wagon and scream Oh stop your whining and get over it, just PROVES my point! If it didn't happen to you, YOU don't care!!! As long as that stays the same nothing will change!!! I am not saying that I have no great memories of softball or teammates. I am not saying that there is no GOOD in softball because I know there is!!! Maybe, just maybe it isn't my peed on cornflakes I'm even talking about!!! Maybe I am using someone else as my example! Maybe I just wanted everyone to stop and think, Did I or Mine, do something to someone that shouldn't have been done???? :banginghe

 

Reply

Good response! I think many people may have misread your intent. Ray Chandler and I were talking Sunday as we watched games and we were commenting about the dog eat dog atmosphere at times in today's softball. We spoke of two way loyalty, we spoke of all the relationships and meaningful moments we have had watching our girls get to a college of their choice to play softball. Society has bred, to some extent, an attitude that someone else is to blame for my shortcomings and that is part of the problem. Impatience is another issue and failure to be realistic about the skills and hardwork it takes to be the best at anything is an issue. Earning a position is not longer expected.

To be honest, the Blues are having some issues with LOYALTY and COMMITMENT right now and we are moving to correct those issues and I think will be the first travel team in NC to have the structure we feel it is going to take to survive and continue to build on our success.

We are quick to attack and slow to think, sometimes! U never know what life will bring be careful the seeds U sow!

 

Softball Family

Maybe if any of this softball family had some facts about what you were talking about we could respond more objectively!

 

my 2 cents

As a lot of you know, I helped a long-time friend start the Catawba Screamers 14u based on "spilled-milk". We both felt our daughters, along with the original 8 or so were not good enough for some other teams based on money, location, schools, etc. There was a coach who told one of my players that she wasn't good enough to be on his team and would never be on a competitive travel ball team. There was a game in which we played on a field beside them and justice was served in the form of a low inside fastball that she put over the fence and into their field for a home run. Before that game I told my players that the teams they would be playing against said that they were a "rec-ball" team and shouldn't be on the same field. I used their comments, not to pull down those hard working ladies, but to motivate them to do the impossible. I had a few goals this year for this team (1) teach these young ladies about adversity, (2) teach them that anything is possible through Christ who gives me strength, and (3) there is more to life than just softball and what team you play on. And finally(4) win a game because no body thinks you can.
Goal 1- Every player on the team learned first hand that you must be able to play every position on the field as asked. No whinning, attitude is everything.Also, play the position the other coach cut you from while playing against his team. This made them play harder with more to prove.
Goal 2- Never give up attitude, show good sportsmanship at all times and win or lose it's how you play the game.
Goal 3-Sometimes you have to be humbled before you can climb to higher ground. No matter how good you think your daughter or yourself is, someone is always better and has a better attitude. PM me if you want to know more.
Goal 4-This team was designed for failure from the start. In order to try and make everyone happy, we picked friends of friends and classmates. Not a bad idea, right? Practices became gossip and social hour and eventually became a problem. I allowed it at first to get girls to field a team and then tried to stop it after it was too late. Through all of this we did manage to win 8 games(not tournaments) games. Not all in a row, or all together.
I know I am rambling on but, before someone bad mouths a coach just put yourself in his/her shoes for one season. Just one season of picking girls, cutting girls(explaining why they're not "good enough"), ordering uniforms, paying for everything team related, while listening to parents who think their daughter is the best and can never do any wrong fuss about things that are not important to life in general. If a player is on a team to "trophy hunt" and win at all costs, then the parents should expect back stabbing and dishonest things to happen. If she is there to just get playing time, then don't expect to win a lot. But you will still have the same old problems of other teams. There will always be problems with any team in any sport, you just can't please everyone without someone getting mad or upset. Sorry, life is mean. Just keep your head up, keep smiling, and never let someone think they got the best of you! This was not directed at anyone in general. I have made many friends this year while coaching, but I hurt my daughter's ability to improve her game and deal with "not being good enough" by forming my own team and not pushing her to her max. She has since found a new "home"(team) that thinks she can fit their needs. Now her confidence is growing everyday, maybe one day she'll get an academic scholarship and we'll throw in the back yard like old times.?

Nathan Cullars( no longer Screamers 14u coach, just dad)
[email protected]
828-461-2278 my cell is always on

 

Loyalty...yes, that is the conflict that we have now in travel softball. It is getting harder and harder for organizations to keep the talent they, for the most part, developed. I am not saying it is a good or bad thing, but rather it is reality. One example are the Cardinals. They have only the 18U age group. This means that virtually everone of their players played in other organizations for a while, perhaps as long as 4 or 5 years. They ended up going to the Cardinals as 18U players and probably left a big void with the team they left. Is there anything wrong with this? The Cardinals won the ASA A World Series. They also play in the big showcase tournaments and give their kids lots of exposure. I would bet that everyone that wants to play college ball and is able to sign has done so on that team...this is a good thing in my opinion. However, it does cause a problem with the teams they left. I believe the days of the 'organization' are numbered...expecially at the upper age groups. There are hundreds of teams out there now and most people want to be on the best one. Yes, the grass always seems to be greener on the other side. This loyalty goes both ways. Coaches in an organization ask yourself this "do I take all players from within my organization that are fed to me"? How many on your organization's 18U team came up through your organization? Are you constantly looking for better players all throughout the year or are you attempting to develop what you have and only look for new talent during tryouts. If you are constantly bringing in new players all through the year then you should not be alarmed when some leave you during the year because they were scouted by a team a little be better than yours. If the individual and the team are getting better, the coach is fair with the kids, the team gets exposure (upper age groups), and the parents are providing a good environment for themselves and the kids then I see no reason for anyone to leave that team just to get a few more wins per year. If any one of those ingredients are missing then there will probably be a fair amount of turnover from year to year.

 

THINGS CAN CHANGE

CONGRATS To the player for hitting a homerun over the fence, regardless who the team was playing! You are Right there will always be someone better even if just for that game! Someone more exposed, with more money, dressed better, more home runs, better pitcher, better catcher, etc.... But you never know that kid that everyone thought wasn't any good could turn out to be the best player ever, if the right person tried to help that player.
My whole intent with this thread was to get everyone thinking about how you treat each other, how you treat your teammates, how coaches treat players and parents, how one team treats another team, etc... I think everyone has lost focus on what games are supposed to be, FUN!!!! Now yes, showcase tournaments are for a little more than just fun but does it really have to be a fight or be killed experience? Even the kids who aren't the most talented players need a team. Maybe the better players could spend a little of their time mentoring the other players who need extra help. Instead of standing around snickering and laughing about that person not being the best!
The old saying is that if you discuss a problem you can fix a problem! Well let's discuss this and put our heads/thoughts together and maybe we can be the beginning of a new branch in the softball family!
Not keep chimming in and saying Stop Your Whining And Get Over IT!!! Who knows what could happen!!!
I don't care who you are, you have seen, been a part of, or heard of the same type things that I have discussed in this thread!!! Don't act like you haven't!:banginghe
LOYALITY is as hard to come by these days as HONESTY ever has been!!!!

 

Yes I did like the pee'd on cornflakes thing!!!\There is most certainly more than one or two buttholes in the family!! There is in every family!!!
Just this comment about I am leaving myself open for abuse - PROVES MY POINT!!! Thanks for your input!!!! I have enjoyed it!!!!